Tag Archive | strength

Rise Up


surrounded by indifference

shivering from the chill of their backs

tears fall as if by mistake

the plan had been to be brave

but the weight of ignorant spurning

arms never quite reaching

curving a fresh strong back

soon sparkling with the sweat

from standing tall and strong

for the seeds of love you carry inside

will live on

it shouldn’t matter how you sparkle

as an amethyst forged in fire

in a world of emerald objections

shunned and dismissed directly

from those without enough sight

to see beauty in difference

stand up there is no alternative

you must dig to your roots

finding the truth of your worth

in knowing God makes no mistakes

and the longer you shine brightly

despite the silence of the deaf

surrounding you at a distance

who refuse to hear a new song

rise up my beauty and sing to the birds

for they will take your soul to Heaven


Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of my younger son, too…

Just in completely different ways.  You all know he’s addicted to meth and lives on the streets of Seattle most days, or with friends he makes and shares a floor or campsite with.

But I don’t mention his heart often enough, and I want you all to know I’m proud of him because he has a heart of gold.  He cares about his friends, tries to help them whenever they ask, and has given up food, clothes and sleeping bags, tents, whatever he has if they need it, he’ll give it.

I’m proud that he hasn’t given up yet, and continually tries to keep a job, and find a way out.

He’s strong, strong willed, and a determined young man, who has been destroyed physically day by day by meth.  He can’t stop, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he has a good soul.

The meth is slowly going to kill him; I know this, and so does he, but even as it takes its toll, he continues to try to fight it, and will go for days and days without it, fighting it with everything he has.

Its just a heinous drug, that no one I’ve ever met can walk away from.  Its a huge problem here in Washington, with people making it and giving it to minors….like my son.  He was just 12 when first exposed to it, and became addicted around the time he was about 16 or so.

What most of you don’t know, is he was only 3 lbs when he was born prematurely, and took several years to catch up.  He was then told repeatedly that he was ADHD, and like a stupid sheep, I tried to put him on Ritalin and some other generic drugs like Ritalin, as we tried to find a correct helpful dose.  Ritalin is basically just speed, and was supposed to help him but didn’t; instead they drugged him out so bad he couldn’t function.  This only lasted a year or two before I refused to medicate him anymore, and began to realize that these drugs were nothing more than pharmaceutical high grade speed. 

The schools were horrible about it, demanding I place him on them, and began to label him a problem child, rather than try to help him.  This labeling followed him through school, and continually made him feel like shit!  He hated school, and I understood perfectly why.  They put him down daily, both teachers and principals.  And that is no way to help a child.  And since his school days, he has always felt that the world was against him.  His childhood was very difficult for him, and scars him to this day.

I truly believe these drugs are worse than being hyper, I think they even altered his brain, giving him this addictive personality, which of course made him crave speed.  Meth is the epitome of speed.

So take my word for it, people, if your child is ADD or ADHD, IGNORE the doctors, and find a natural way to slow them down.  For once they take speed as a child, they crave it the rest of their life.  At least this has been my experience!!!  And I can literally list off at least 10 of my friends who are and have been addicted to it from the first time they tried it, God help them all. 

He’s fearless when it comes to survival, and I thank God we went camping when he was a child, because he learned valuable skills from that, about surviving in the wild, which is much like living on the streets or camping out near a river.  He has survived more horror than I can say here, and deep down still believes in God, which tells me he just may make it.  If anyone can walk away from Meth, and continue on in life, I say, “well done!”  “you the man or woman!”  Because it takes more guts and deep willpower to walk away from, than anything else on this Earth. 

No other drug is as destructive to the brain and body as Meth….and no other drug is as addictive. 

So don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of him for who he is, not what he’s addicted to, and never what the drugs make him do to survive; but the love that is always there rooted deep inside him for others, that I am very proud of. 

One day, I pray, he will make it.  I’m proud to know he’s managed to survive this horror for 7 years, and I will celebrate endlessly on the day he can finally say, “I’m clean.”

Until then, keep praying my friends, each voice reaches God, and each day he survives, is one more day he has to change his life.