Most people learn as they age, that yes, Pride does goeth before a fall. Or at the very least it rides along with you as you fling yourself over that cliff. But rarely do people understand the damage that Self Esteem does. It is only half an inch from Pride, in meaning.
Sure we want our children to grow up with confidence in their abilities and mental capacity, and of course we want them to feel valuable! To us and themselves. It’s a fine line, I know, but the step over to complete conceit and vanity and worst of all narcissism, is just an inch wide.
The vanity and conceit are blatantly seen across the United States, thrown in everyone’s lives minute by minute on TV and now the Internet, to the point that they are accepted, even rewarded in the work place when it poses as confidence. But it is not confidence, it is conceit; thinking you are better than someone else for ANY reason. Putting others down, thinking it will make you look better is just ridiculous.
Who ever came up with this idea?
So when George says, “Tom (his coworker) can’t handle it, I’ll do it!” to the boss, HE IS NOT BEING CONFIDENT, he is literally helping to get poor Tom fired at a future date. When he could easily have said, “Oh sure boss, I can do that, no problem” without ONCE putting down poor Tom, NOT even mentioning his name, eluding to the fact that he may really be too busy, or not able to do it. Instead, if George knew he was already valuable, and was truly confident, he would understand the greatness that comes with always being your best self.
I hear parents saying ALL the time, “You need to build up Sally’s self-esteem, or she’ll never fit in!” THIS STATEMENT makes me want to PUNCH YOU!!! Do not ever say it around me! Because NO YOU DON’T! You do not need to BUILD up ANYTHING, and especially nothing that is false. What you NEED to do, is give Sally things to do, that WILL BUILD her self-esteem, with each step she takes and each thing she accomplishes. YOU CANNOT GIVE someone THEIR self-esteem. What you can give them is the opportunity for a self grown DIGNITY! Knowing they can do what they set out to do. This is SO much more important to them in LIFE than an ego.
You can give them Morale, if done properly, or you can give them Vain Hope. When you falsely try to build them up, with fake “attaboys” and “way to go’s” when all they have done is the simplest of human activities, I think you are merely giving them False Hope. The only example I can think of right now, that comes to mind, but mind you there are millions of them, is this: the practice of giving every member of a sports team a tiny trophy … just for showing up each day and dressing like every one else. This is absolutely ridiculous. All the child needs to know, is they had fun, and enjoyed it, and if so, do you want to do it again. PERIOD! WE are turning our little leagues into factories of children who have NO REAL FEELINGS OF WORTH!
As an adult, for example, when your boss tells you that you did a good job today, YOU KNOW IMMEDIATELY if this is the truth or just crap. YOU KNOW! Do you REALLY think children are THAT STUPID? That they don’t pick up on your LIES? OH THEY DO! Instead, you tell the child or adult, “well that was a tough day, lets hope tomorrow goes smoother.” HONESTY is SO EASY! So much easier, and healthier to a human soul.
When you lie, all you are giving them is a HUGE EGO! That NO ONE wants to be around, so why would you?
And when it comes to Pride, well I have only ONE word for you: God! YHVH! Either name will do. For GOD created Every single thing, every single atom, every single one of your children, every single opportunity you ever had, EVERY SINGLE BLESSING YOU HAVE EVER RECEIVED!
Therefore, YOU have NO RIGHT to PRIDE in any form. Period.