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Torn

1

dainty, scalloped and ruffled in pink

like a child in church clothes

forced to sit still so as to not crinkle

or mess their special dress

but God doesn’t care if you come

in tatters and filth, wrinkled with loss

surrounded in the darkness of your past

He only cares that you come…

to Him

that you love as He does…

with every torn petal

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A Stencil of Life

mountain in the clouds

 

Man hasn’t ruined, stepped upon this ground

not sacred, not lost, blessedly not found

high upon mountains reaching for the sky

only paws and claws had been this high

Revealing life through a pale purple mist

untouched, serene as a cool soft kiss

a glimpse into the future, a peaceful sigh

Glory silently spilling… just across the sky

 

Its a stencil of life, simple and honestly true

loving God first, all souls, everything under blue

spreading joy, honor, innocence and candor

no reason for deceit, for this is much grander

Wildly simple, cherish it all, living off this wonderland

now see His son, head bowed, reaching for His hand

nothing else to speak of, or see, only birds flew over today

but Yeshuah cut the path, knew the truth… knows the way

 

It may have been covered in His precious blood

preempted by warnings of His Father’s angry flood

dripping below into caverns, pooling on His mercy seat

His love for a lost species not once wavering in the heat

Flying like a bird, soaring on pure white wings

a million angels laughing, rejoicing, a massive choir sings

landing on these untouched mountains, a divine dome

then He rose beyond… following that same path home

In An Instant

e

beauty and death swirled into one

the light a pale kiss upon deep magenta veins

the Creator’s design to teach us Hope

for life is evolving in front of our eyes

one minute opening like a slow dance

the next withering into a curl of loss

darkening into dried silken ash

but before falling softly to the ground

another slow dance peels open God’s heart

blossoming into Hope in an instant

A BARREN LAND

 

Mt Si from Snoq

wisps of love sail across a barren land

as time settles all like a calm breeze

tickling the toes of a dead season

melting the cold into bubbling spring

rounded jade and pine covered hills

skirting a majesty like none ever seen

fading the rust and rugged rocks

a tempest shadow over budding green

I May Have Been…

1twinkchillin

 

I feel like I may have been a little harsh in my last post. 

But as usual, I never think before I post.

It just spills out of me sometimes.  I felt, while writing it, like Yeshuah was angry, and wanted to make a point. Don’t get me wrong, it was all me, because I have yet to hear Him speak to me. You will not hear me say out loud, ever, that “God Told Me…” and go on with something I made up. I truly love God, as my Father, and Yeshuah as his arm, or branch, or the Son of YHVH, THE All Mighty One.. I could go on and on… He takes care of me. But despite many prayers for Him to speak to me, it hasn’t happened…yet!! But, for some reason yesterday I just felt like Yeshuah should say something, as the poem oozed out of me. I’m guessing it was the Ruach Hakodesh, the Holy Spirit.  I think sometimes it prods me on like a poker to a horse…get moving old girl, He says…. lol  But, no; yesterday I was just feeling feisty.

This other part of me… just wants to yell at people.  Have you ever felt like that?? You just want to strangle people! Seriously, I’m in fear of becoming a serial killer.  lol  I’d be the Cherrieo’s Killer, due to my gf calling me Cherrieo’s; I in turn call her Corn Flakes, due to her being a bit ditzy sometimes.

I digress.

Take the moron at work this am that was a proud racist, and smarted off to me about it…. but tucked his head in shame as he ducked out the door. This was right after I told him, “Uh, no…” at this point I make a big ‘no’ face, like I’m speaking to a kindergartner, “sorry, but we’re NOT RACISTS here, so we’ll have NONE of that kind of talk!” He left smiling, because I was smiling, but he understood at that moment in time, he was so wrong! He was not in a world that still lives in the 80’s. 

I truly hope he thought about it for a while, ducking his head like he did, I know he was ashamed of himself… but if I hadn’t stopped him… he would have continued on for the rest of his life, thinking it was ok to make comments like that.  Sometimes I wonder, if it only takes ONE TIME, before the embarrassment can alter ones’ open aggression and the self-centered-self-righteous bullshit they’ve concocted to convince themselves that they are better than someone else!  Hell, they actually think they are better than a whole group of people who are different than themselves.

Anywho…. today I’ll try to post something lovely… everyone loves puppies and springtime! Smile

Please Pray….

Romeo, Twinkie and Sweetheart…

brandon 0021twinkSweettart

DSCN0630Lil Misster Kitty 9-2016

Lil Misster Kitty… before …                 and now………….  3 weeks later

 

PLEASE PRAY…

NOT ONLY for my four cats who are all dying now, but for the evil neighbor who has poisoned them with rat poison, I think. He needs help…and so do his three daughters and wife, who have to live with him. 

The EVIL neighbor, we’ll call him Satan… doesn’t understand … much of anything… but especially the fact that the people who lived there before him had 11 cats, and mine are still trying to claim their territory, doing what they naturally do, pee and spraying all over the place. 

I can understand Satan’s frustration, and disgust, not having pets himself, but there are better ways to make my cats stop visiting his home…. like shooting bee-bee’s at their behinds, which only sting, but don’t maim or kill, or do much of anything but run them off.  Or he could scare them, putting one of my cat traps in the spot they’re peeing in and trapping them, so I know which one it is…and so it also scares them out of going over there again.

BUT NO… nothing humane … he’s an evil asshole who has poisoned all four of them, with Lil Misster Kitty on deaths doorstep.  He went from being a fat little ornery fart, to a skeleton in two weeks, with stuff oozing from his eyes and nose to the point he’s wheezing, losing his hair, not moving … and now the other three are following suit.  They’re dying of thirst, which is the first clue to a poisoning with rat poison, not eating, and running fevers. All classic symptoms, which breaks my heart. There’s no way to prove it was Satan, but they make rat poison to taste wonderful, and Lil Misster has always been a greedy eater. Which is why he’s going first, would be my guess.

I want to put them down so they don’t suffer, but it will break my heart four times over…so all I can say is Please Pray everyone, for them and him… and maybe a tiny bit for me.  You all know… I love them, I hate them, I love them, I hate them…. and on and on.  BUT A CRUEL DEATH like this… NOTHING DESERVES THIS! Well, maybe the neighbor does… still, just say a quick prayer for my kits… at the least, that they don’t hurt!  They don’t seem to be in pain, yet, so I’m waiting… hoping now that I’ve locked them inside the house, they might recover.  But I think it’s a long shot. 

And do add a mention for the evil neighbor, he’s headed straight for hell, a well deserved hell, but maybe if we all pray for his lost soul, we might still save him.  (You go first, I’m still thinking about it… hahaha) No.. I’m serious, it’s about loving your enemies… and not flattening his tires… not spray painting his house with the words “MURDERER”, etc… lol  Can you tell I’m struggling… I am!

Thanks all, and hope you are all having a Blessed Day! Smile

A Mountain of Forgiveness

8

 

most likely its my greatest of woes

like climbing a mountain with no toes

or swimming an ocean for a deep breath

what will I do if it means my death

this not forgiving I hold a grudge

double the anger gives me a nudge

greedy parasites cover earth in a mist

and cruelty is at the top of the my list

growing longer than impatience endures

with my peeves flying past in sharp blurs

I stumble repeatedly flailing off a deadly cliff

falling into shit with a miserable whiff

not quite finding the strength to dig on out

I crawl towards the mountain clawing about

while my heart and hands are covered in pain

I’ve given in to an endless reign

of evil and heartache till I’m finally full

rupturing and bursting my only soul

never learning that vengeance is God’s alone

only His to smite from His Holy throne

His Death

fire river 2

 

His soft and gentle blood ran in red rapids

While His torturous death gave me my life

How I ache to become His devoted wife

Sadly I deign to think He’d have me

It’s discerning to learn I can’t repay Him

I’m disgusted my blood is soured and weak

~~~~~~~

Yet His hope is filling an empty vessel

Dripping in time with each weeping need

Holiness replacing my soul with a lamb

Drowning me until I’m finally freed

~~~~~~~

Suddenly I’m high with unbelievable spirit

My drumming heartbeat flows into music

For I will always be deemed worthy

Without one single second thought

Someday soon I will be His Adoring Wife

Because His Pure Love Gave Me Life

~~~~~~~

As His hope is filling an empty vessel

Dripping in time with each weeping need

Holiness replacing my soul with a lamb

Drowning me until I’m finally freed

We’re All Just Mashed Potatoes and Gravy… ……..MIXED TOGETHER PEOPLE!!

 

there is no black and white

no yellow, brown or pink

there’s only love and hope

no matter what you’ve been taught to think

this lie about color that fills us full

of evil judgment and stupid hate

is just that, an incredibly evil lie

the enemy doth proliferate

trying to drive us further apart

leading us to defile, maim and kill

and worse, back it with the Lord’s name

can all change with just your will

your will to understand we’re all human

your will to promise to love all instead

your will to be accepting and not judge

your will to be stronger than society said

your will to create rather than destroy

your will to stand firm rather than be led

your will to truly follow in Jesus’ steps

ensuring your soul will never be dead

~~~~~~~

Wake up sheeple, we’re all just Mashed Potatoes and Gravy… all mixed up together!

THE ONLY THING THAT DETERMINES SKIN COLOR IS THE SUN!

If your family lives near the equator, you will have darker skin, to reflect the sun’s damaging rays and protect you from too much Vitamin D absorption.

The need for the right amount of Vitamin D is copied into our DNA and passed down to our children to keep them healthy.

THIS IS THE ONLY REASON WE HAVE DIFFERENT SHADES OF HUMANS!!!

SO WAKE UP ALL YOU IDIOT BIGOTS AND RACISTS!!!  WE ARE ALL THE SAME!!!!!!!

Forgiveness is Sunshine

 

best above launch clouds

~~~~~~~

do you feel His arms surrounding you

curled in gripping you tight

through the nightmares in your life

never letting go

not once all night

~~~~~~~

 

do you hear His calling for you

soft yet echoing in your ear

rising with hope screaming with joy

that insistent loving

voice you hear

~~~~~~~

 

do you wonder why He loves you so

as any parent aching with the loss

seeing His children floundering in sin

you are still special

loved at all cost

~~~~~~~

 

do you not see how Greatly He Loves

when darkness looses its sickly masks

when you choose the graceful light

forgiveness is sunshine

and trying is all He asks

~~~~~~~

BE VIBRANT!

8 best

be vibrant in all you do

don’t waste your time being dull and blue

when your feet hit the floor

thank God and bounce out the door

when you smile make it wide

none of this fake stuff, half out the side

when you are being kind

unroll all your giving, simply unwind

when you are understanding

take that leap, forget about landing

when you need to be strong

rely on God all the day long

when you shine with hope

others will see and learn to cope

and when you love do it completely

with no judgment, make it unconditionally

Be Love, be Hope,

be Kind, be Flagrant

Be Joy, Be Light,

Be Bright, Be VIBRANT

Simple Loves

11

 

silver colored rain splatters upon the ground

spreading out like running sheep

hands flinging fingers open wide

making a point before a beep

muscles pulling the grandest jete

toes reaching the horizon in a leap

the minds of children creating joy

dreaming wildly while sound asleep

the look of new parents in any species

their tears of love uncontrollably seep

or me flying like a majestic bird

making memories I will forever keep

as easily as the trees in the breeze

bending deep

the simple loves in life

make me weep

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wrote this because a friend and I were discussing how often she cries when people are mean to her. Its part of our job to deal with assholes, but it occurred to me when she said this, that I cry due to joy more often than anything else. Sure, I’m very empathetic and I cry easily if a friend is sad, and I’ll admit I have cried while watching many different types of moves, ie, the Green Mile, Phenomenon, where I bawled like a baby, and even at the end of Armageddon. (more for her losing her father, than for BW dying. lol ) Still for the most part, with mean people, I tend to get very Motherly and put them in their place. Even if I need to yell to do it!  lol  But my friend has a tender heart, isn’t very tough on the inside, and lets people walk all over her, which is sad, but I think a huge waste of tears. Those who are mean are just assholes, and you just have to let it wash over you, knowing they are miserable and will always be. Not my problem, not me that caused theirs. Simple as that.

But I’ve also learned over the years, it’s hard to teach someone to be strong, when they have no faith to give them strength. People say all the time…. OH I BELIEVE IN GOD… yet they have never once given their problem to God, wholeheartedly believed HE would take care of it, and relaxed back in the peace that this simple surrender will give. BUT YOU MUST HAVE FAITH. You must truly believe HE WILL HANDLE IT… and most people don’t.

They’re all about lip service.

  I do it daily. Usually in the morning while I drive somewhere. For some reason God and I do a lot of chatting in my truck. I ask for parking lot angels, idiot angels to keep me safe on the highway from idiot terrourrists, whatever I need, God wants me to ask Him to do it… so I do. And I am peaceful inside, not worrying about anything, throughout most of my day. Some days, yeah, I’m tired, loose my temper and have to shut someone up… but hey, no one’s perfect. lol  And God knows me inside and out. He knew I was going to do that. So why get upset, why chastise myself for not handling it right? Nope, I move on. Life is TOO SHORT to worry about the little shit. God knows why I reacted the way I did, and I ask him to forgive me when I know I’ve been wrong.

But folks, all in all, with all the weird problems in my life, I am a pretty happy person!

I find peace daily.

Find yours.

Find Joy.

Find God.

Immortal?

9

So, here’s my question for you all today….

Is it possible we can ‘earn’ immortality?

Or… for the other side of the coin; could we ‘evolve’ into it, on our own?

Someone mentioned it, and I can’t stop thinking about it. So here’s my thoughts, don’t forget to share yours.

On the one hand, there is a God, but scripture’s say it is not the deeds you do, it is the love you have inside for God, everything else, everyone else, that gets you into heaven… the eternal mortality that God offers is the goal; the bait; the one thing you do not have here on Earth. You’ve experienced love, been loved (hopefully) by at least one other being in your life, so maybe a new Daddy figure isn’t something you feel you need. But to live forever… FOR EVER?  It would be cool and boring, probably at the same time, and if everyone you loved wasn’t immortal, it would be amazing yet incredibly sad. But think about it, if we all lived forever, here on Earth, we would be wall to wall people… the planet couldn’t support us all… it would be much like it is now, with a lot more starvation thrown in. A lot.

But what if immortal doesn’t mean with your current body? What if immortal is impossible with our body?

Would you want it with your soul? Would you want it if they told you your brain went with it?? Or I should say, your mind? How about your heart; your love? Your feelings??  Wouldn’t you need all these things, for immortality to work? So where do our thoughts, feelings and love come from, if not our soul? Our brain tells our lungs to breathe; but what tells your lungs to hold your breath when you kiss? Or swim? Or blow up a balloon? This is your mind, not your brain. This is you… part of your soul. It floods you with warmth when you’re happy, and it chills you when someone you love dies. It rises up to sing with your favorite song. It explodes in your heart when you hold your child for the first time forcing you to cry with joy.

All this … does it go with your soul? Of course. It is your soul. This is what will become immortal with God. You. Your essence. Your entire soul. And from what I hear, you get the coolest set of WINGS to boot! So in some way… they have to be attached to you…. so you must end up with a body of some sort…right??? 

Now we go to the evolving aspect. It must be possible, somewhere, somehow, because we know how DNA works. Say you’re the one being on a planet who’s DNA alters just enough to where your cells never die, they just recycle themselves in some way… yes you would be the first…

but think about it… out of the BILLIONS of species on this planet, I would guess ALL of them… ALL of them have NEVER ONCE had their genes mutate into immortality. Are WE humans really that special that our DNA would suddenly evolve in a different way than every other species on this planet? If you believe in evolution, you also believe that something had to have seeded this planet with life, ie, bacteria from asteroids…etc.

That being said, literally, anything is possible. We know so little about our lives, our bodies, the world… the universes… it’s embarrassing really. But, we have only been around for about 10,000 years. Compare that to …. frogs… and you’d be blushing again, they’ve been around for over 200 million years…. so lets pick something younger in eon terms… how about a simple rose…. not even close, they’ve been around for about 35 million years… I could go on… my point… we are the youngest species on this planet. With maybe 10 other exceptions, mostly crap our lab tech’s have grown.. that they shouldn’t have!

There are also a few worms, flies and brine shrimp that can all go into suspended animation… the brine can survive up to 10,000 years… add water, and bam, you’ve got brine shrimp… but that’s only suspending life, not living eternally… and well, they’re bugs ya’ll!  Bugs! lol they don’t even know what being alive is.

So the chances that we could alter ourselves into immortality is pretty ridiculous. The fact that we don’t even understand HOW our cells know when to change, or why… or what made that protein decide to turn on a switch… folks… we don’t know SHIT!  OK! We only know the obvious, and that’s about .0000009% of what we need to know.

So my view is obvious… unless you’re severely slow you’ve figured it out by now… I say, go with God! He’s your best bet at becoming immortal! I truly don’t see us, a bacteria ourselves, evolving into anything as spectacular as an immortal being! But you will never earn it, with good deeds. You just have to LOVE!!! And it’s so easy to love God, and everything and everyone else… try it sometime.

Just go one day… where every single thing you see, every person, dog, flower… from the mailman to the boss you hate every other day… and be kind to them. Show them love.  And SEE what happens. Maybe nothing, maybe not… either way, sit back and FEEL what you did.

ENJOY that feeling of peace and happiness that your entire body has been tricked into feeling! Sink into it. Each time you are kind, people usually show you thanks, or love…. each time you reach out and touch someone physically, you are giving love, and USUALLY you will get love back. (now don’t be getting all pervy… lol) JUST TRY IT!!! And you will see… that feeling this way… is the GREATEST thing on earth. Right up there with the immortality you are going to experience!!

Smile

GONE!

tiger_launch

a little morning haze

turned into a glorious daze

born to fly across the sky

my fellow birds and I

 

surreal barely describes it

you know you’ve lost your wits

your breathing forgotten and gone

your heart races on and on

 

pounding to be set free

and see exactly what you see

rising up your throat for a peek

halting any attempt to speak

 

as joy flies by at an easy speed

peace floods in to fulfill ALL need

grin now wrapped around your ears

love exploding out in tiny tears

 

shake your head and focus now

get control long before you plow

into a mountain or land in a tree

your life is in your own hands… see

 

so snap out of the incredible bliss

leave behind the awesome amazingness

that phenomenal rush will soon be back

tomorrow swinging in a swing on crack

 

you can’t get enough

you never will

sleep when your dead

never stand still

D.D.

1st Flight of 2016…. WOOT! WOOT!

1st flight 2016, April 1st

Heart racing, face feeling for wind strength, legs shaking, pull it up… RUN!!!!

That’s how it goes, here at the launch site.. for most newbies like me. It still stops your heart, it still makes you stop and look heavenward to ask God Almighty to keep you safe, and its still the most AMAZING time of your life!

Yesterday I not only had to deal with a new year’s beginning flight; one where you have already stretched your strings, inspected the wing and harness, and emergency parachute, went to the bathroom and chain-smoked three cigarettes…and OK, I’m ready! But one where I also had to deal with the overwhelming fear of crashing again, like I did last year.

I didn’t mention it, because I was ok, only missing about an inch of flesh along the backside of my right leg, compliments of the sticker-bushes and rocks on the way down about 100 feet of mountain… but still a very scary event to have to force myself to overcome. It ended my flying last year, and killed about three months of bliss for me! Where I was injured, my harness seat banged into, so even practicing was halted until I healed up, and by then, it was fall.

None of which stopped me from blasting off the side of Tiger Mountain yesterday, to fly like an eagle once again! God is keeping me safe, I know this every single time I fly, so that is one less fear I have to worry about! I truly trust in God… and last year He was there!!! Right when I needed Him!

It was a gorgeous day, from 60-70 degrees out, with no clouds for thermals, but there were thermals bouncing me all over the place, scaring the bejeezus out of me, and keeping my adrenalin at the maximum level possible!! But it was SO MUCH FUN!!! The winds were just a bit choppy, but they kept me up for an extra ten minutes or so, while I figured out how to maneuver down… slowly… properly…. lol 

My instructor cracks me up, he will be writing a big “L” on my left hand, and an “R” on my right, so when he tells me to go Right, I turn right!!!  We had a difference of opinion when the trees got closer than I felt they needed to be!!  Still it was a great little flight, but the winds picked up and we had to postpone until Sunday.. when hopefully they will be light again and not too Springy! 

SO HAPPY FLYING TO ME….AND ANY OF YOU OUT THERE WILLING TO TRY IT!  You can go Tandem, with an instructor, and just sit there enjoying the view!!! IT’S JUST AMAZING!!!!!!

Instinct

1

they began as a seed, tiny thoughts growing in my mind

touched by a whisper and nudged lightly on occasion

burst into action when truth no longer mattered

as His Holy Spirit feeds me with wise intent

I bloom into majesty the color of spring

following the gracefulness in His step

listening to kind loving guidance

spoken into a peaceful heart

His pride roaring on that

Grace filled morning

when His eternal

hints became

instinct

~~~~~~~

 

 

Inspired by the Book of Thomas, The Nag Hammadi Scriptures

29a. Jesus said: If flesh (sarx) came into being because of spirit it is wonderful.

If spirit came into being because of the body

it is exceedingly wonderful.

Time Gives Everything To Those Who Wait

1

she was never one for waiting

chasing whatever lit her heart

into a flame

except that one time

she’ll never forget

for it lasted for years

the hoping

the dreams day and night

the never ending waiting

that never ended

it was just gone one day

leaving an empty hole

where love had once curled up

surrounded by a glow

of innocence and optimism

until the waiting dragged on

like a painful tooth ache

or a throbbing migraine

she’d tried to end it all

once

but God stopped her

but not the never ending

hurting

the never ending ache

darkening her soul

that never ended

for he had always said

time gives everything

to those who wait

and she’d waited

painfully waited

through the greatest years

of her life

a part of her had waited

always been waiting

that

never

ended

my daffodil

Kaelynn age 4

bursting as a daffodil in spring

my G-baby-girl beats her own drum

with life, love and orneriness a plenty

I’m still lost as to where that came from

sparkling with innocence

and far too precious to lose

her giggles of mirth so contagious

her flight mimicking kangaroos

I’d love to know what she’s thinking

behind her beautiful blue sky eyes

flitting from one moment to the next

a hummingbird of dramatic sighs

an artist at heart her muse dubious

shaping the adorable smirk you see above

four years reshaping my heart vastly

in the spring I was flooded in love

Peaks

2

the blues of winter marching away

into amethyst skies and mountain peaks

d’amore blossoming to be sure

Another day… another try.

8

A gentleman walks by me, pleasant as pie, smiles and says “Mornin’”. The green dress clashes terribly a in huge fashion faux pas by partnering it with dirty brown Muck Lucks; white tube socks rolled to the knee cap. He’s a regular, and likes to chat a bit. One hand gently pressed against his lower lip as he waits for my response. Today his nails are black, but only a misshaped swampy island in the center of each.

“How’s it going?” My smile stiffens as I realize what I just said. To me, that’s like saying “hello”. With friends, it’s a real question, but acquaintances, not so much. It’s habit. I wish I was hiding under one. Tonight I’m tired. Didn’t get even an hours’ sleep. My back hurts. I’m just not in a good mood.

I try to lighten lives every day, thinking by sharing one tiny personal bit of info with another person, it shows they are not alone. I’ve done this my entire life, ever since a friend of mine died when we were young. It ended up being a freak accident. But suicide had been a topic we were all interested in at the time, I can’t remember why, but maybe it was just our age. My friend had written something and it grew into my roots. “If just one person had acted like I mattered, anyone, I wouldn’t have done it.”

Sitting on her bed, as I read her diary, she’d written a suicide note just weeks before, getting ready. She’d changed her mind; I never new why, but she didn’t do it. Just the idea of it, hurt my soul. I thought her life was fine. I also thought I was her friend, her good friend. Yet I had no idea she was contemplating suicide. I’d heard her say many times, that she felt alone in school, at home, even when she was out with friends. She felt apart, somehow. We always seemed to have fun, to me.

It stayed with me, became part of me, became a first response for me. I’ve always joked with people, strangers, friends… always. I love to laugh. And for the most part, I take the time to listen to people, even when they’re ranting, because everyone needs to be heard.

So the gentleman smirks, and launches into his latest problem; he needs a new razor blade for his electric razor, which I know instantly we only carry the cheap plastic emergency kind in the store. His full beard is at least an inch long, so I grin and say, “Well, I guess you’ll just have to become a Quaker.”

His giggle becomes a twitter and I try to make my escape. Three more times he comes to the counter and pulls out the hair and grease filled razor, showing me the old blade, in the hopes that new ones will magically appear. Each time my skin crawls at the nasty wad of pubes still stuck inside.

His last trip to the counter was timed to coincide with an empty store. Razor now back in the bag over his wrist, he says to me, “I want you to know I appreciate the fact that I never get the “judgy” tone from you. You talk to me like I’m “normal”. I just wanted to say thanks.” He was blushing a lovely shade of apricot, his eyes sparkled in the bright light.

I said, “The day I become perfect, is the day I will judge you. And you are normal. You are more normal than a lot of people I know.” For someone who was almost six feet tall, he ducked his head down so low I couldn’t see his eyes any longer, but his hand darted out and squeezed mine quickly before he left the store at a run.

I smiled, feeling good for a moment, and thought, “Now, how will I break it to him that the Muck Luck’s make him look like Grandma Eskimo!”

Another day… another try.

The Beginning

1

her knee peeked at her through an un-mendable hole

flannel two sizes too large billowing above three floors

of open space with six feet of ‘the willies’ to go

where the echoes of his laughter egged her on

here gripped the hand-me-down queen of clubs

completing the dare, it was always about the dare

the wall moved in a leaf killing wind

he picked his nose waiting in a silhouette

of sunshine streaming through the peak’s window

elbows shaking, her nails digging into ancient wood

giant “X’s” of two inch rotting death

for the hay pile below was almost as old

as the memories she would carry to her grave

of his hair glimmering as if he were an angel

about to throw his life away from four stories up

mastering an eleven year old flip

before landing in the decayed hay below

fluffy for about two inches, then dirt mostly

but she had to reach him first

or where was the fun in that

if she didn’t witness his feat inducing bragging

there would be no point, he’d wasted an hour

despite ending the day with a twisted ankle

or broken neck, they had no reference for that

she could never say no, for nine times out of ten

it was fun, he was fun, laughing his way through life

so of course, that day was the first time she ever flew

Rise Up

2

surrounded by indifference

shivering from the chill of their backs

tears fall as if by mistake

the plan had been to be brave

but the weight of ignorant spurning

arms never quite reaching

curving a fresh strong back

soon sparkling with the sweat

from standing tall and strong

for the seeds of love you carry inside

will live on

it shouldn’t matter how you sparkle

as an amethyst forged in fire

in a world of emerald objections

shunned and dismissed directly

from those without enough sight

to see beauty in difference

stand up there is no alternative

you must dig to your roots

finding the truth of your worth

in knowing God makes no mistakes

and the longer you shine brightly

despite the silence of the deaf

surrounding you at a distance

who refuse to hear a new song

rise up my beauty and sing to the birds

for they will take your soul to Heaven

Under The Leafless Trees

slew inthe rain

lost in the trees

a final downpour

drenched in pain

as she stood transfixed

faces dredged in her memory

 

ripples of love

in her eyes forever

the one moment

of unsurpassed

perfection

the only perfection

she’d always known

she would leave behind

 

for the life

she hadn’t dreamt of

the pills were sustenance

the alcohol a warm bed

it was the “only’s”

vital

sustaining

her struggle to breathe

her dance at work

her spine curling mistakes

 

it became thoughtless

imperative and pushy

even shockingly redundant

she had no reason left

the emptiness told her

but her soul no longer heard

 

to exist barely extant

as a sham of a shell

only works

until the shell cracks

in a ripping fracture

beyond repair

ending as her eyes stilled

with a sudden awe

the shade of a river blue

 

for the first time

since that love poured down

peace bloomed in a sigh

and for the first time

under the leafless trees

she stayed perfectly dry

So Much Glory!

4

He created breathtaking Glory for me…

that hard headed soul rooted deeper than a tree

 

Here before many an eternity…

flowing through time a magnificent sea

 

He began before dawn mercifully…

gushing life to bursting yet openly lonely

 

So mountains rose with Majesty…

volcanoes erupting in joy as oceans swelled uncontrollably

 

While the earth shook frantically…

His smile fashioned giants warming our souls into reality

 

A Heaven filled with impossible Glory…

wrapped around our home before spending an eternity…

on just you and me

Grey Blue Oceans

oregon beach 3

grey blue oceans

penetrate my soul

searching for truth

with a storm

in the distance

just at the edge

stalled momentarily

like a calm sigh

heard right before

a tsunami wave

buries all thought

and then

he blinked

and smiled

The Naked Trees

3

resting on the branches

as if tired somehow

leaning closer to death

pining for us

to see the wisdom

in a symbiotic breath

 

outlining a gentle touch

or caressing an arm

tickling in the breeze

you brighten each

wooden smile from stem

to last to leave

 

clearly molding

an organic love

hovering to tease

yet bound by choice

wildly embracing

the stark naked trees

The Window Frame

mountain 1

the window frame sagged

her finger trailed through dust

the floor rose up in a swirl as she passed

the ratty piece of carpet lying just here

and there

along with the memory of clattering dishes

burnt onions and a hunched vacuum cleaner

still plugged in

Perry Mason arguing a case

echoing behind naïve voices arguing a case

floating on the mites fleeing for cover

as the ancient desk filled the room

struggling to hold up

the rainbow of folders and fluttering notebooks

flying their way to the floor

one by one

some finding refuge on the paisley cushion

crushed into a canoe and now home to mice

becoming a new roof on a den

but the pen

chewed cap still in place

lay amongst her life

listing as her last thoughts lay beneath

… eyes blurring she blinked the words into focus

“YOU completed me… still, they suffered. Why…

didn’t You tell me?”

a sigh escaped as a rolled and worn sheet

leaped with hope

tapping once before finding rest

while its turbulence chases a fur ball

into fleeing for the sunshine

through the front door swinging wide

and following its own dream

of becoming a butterfly

~~~~~~~

for Jeannie XXOOO

The Power

rocks with water 2

the power

to move mountains

one rocky bit at a time

begins with a tear drop

or two

cast together

shameless and unswerving

lured by a deep desire

becoming a legion

undistorted

by a singular longing

winding

picking up speed

meandering

swelling

unable to resist

only restrained

by reflection

until

a tiny grain slips away

followed

by another

and another

until

sentiment

becomes

sediment

This is what happens…

like Mother, like sons

… when you raise your children on TV. My eldest, the big mouth on the right, and two of my adopted sons and I went to the road show version of the Price is Right this last week. It started around 7:30; we were hammered by 6. I should clarify that… I was hammered by 6. I was the lightweight in this group of 30ish wild young men, who are all single… amazingly enough, and laughed their asses off when they realized I was gone by my third drink.

We had a blast though, me and my boys, well three or four were missing, but we still entertained ourselves and many others, who actually LOVED our SAVE THE BOOBIE’S HOT PINK FOR BREAST CANCER AWARENESS OCTOBER…T-shirts… with THE PRICE IS RIGHT on the front! Still, none of us made it to the wheel, which nearly made my oldest cry!

He so wanted to play the Mountain Climber game so he could yodel! goofballs!

me and me boys

….ending the night like this….

 brandon at price is right

Amidst the Fall

fall colors and stepping stone 2

She kissed his face

not knowing what was dripping

down her cheeks:

love oozing from every pore,

a gentle touch of rain,

bitter sweetness a glaze over her eyes,

knowing it would end;

still,

standing there

amidst the fall

of angel’s tears

and late shadows

he appeared

as if on a prayer

parting the gray,

and suddenly

it was a downpour.

the Bridge

me on bridge best

thoughts stretching out

reaching for hope

traveling on… and on

to the next bend

over a mount of wisdom

but then beyond

around the corners

of swelling peace

across an overpass

formed as abundant love

leaping into the sky

banking on a wing

and turned into a bond

that only wants to be free

unleashed

arching past time

is knowledge

the arch in a bridge

between YHVH’s fingers

and his current mold

I HATE…

“I HATE ALL Muslims!” the 70 year old loudly boasted. “We should BLOW them off the PLANET!”

I simply asked, “So, are you a Christian?” I left out 5 minutes of the previous conversation, due to his point being long lost, and trampled under several other nasty racist-bigot type remarks.

He blinked in surprise, at my change in subject, but said stubbornly, “Sometimes!”

“Sometimes?” I asked. “When you meet God, and He says, “Did you believe in me… you’re gonna say “SOMETIMES?”

Yes, the sarcasm dripped all over the counter, but I didn’t care. I absolutely loose my mind when ANYONE claims to be a Christian in one breath and says they HATE in another! I’m sorry, I apologize, but I become the biggest shit you ever laid eyes on.

“You think GOD’S gonna LET YOU IN … SOMETIMES?”

The man was just like a million others I have to listen to daily, those who are usually between 60 and death, the elder generation, who are still prejudiced and racist and whatever you want to call religious-ists… they’re like religious racists. Not just BIGOTS, but viscous in their hate! And frankly I am sick and tired of them running our country…. straight into the ground… not only in politics, but in real life. EVERYDAY life. They are always there, in the background, spouting their shit… dragging an entire population down with their crap. Their UNACCEPTANCE… their UNFORGIVING ways… they need to move on, let it go, and let the rest of us get along.

“COME INTO THE 21ST CENTURY!!!” I said louder than I probably should have… but when this man turned to another man to continue with his rant, I turned to my coworker and said in the same loud voice, “THAT’S what I hate,” I said. He paused in his rant, as the man he was talking to turned to look back at me. I went on, “… people who CLAIM to be a Christian, a FOLLOWER of JESUS, who was ALL ABOUT LOVE, tell me they HATE AN ENTIRE POPULATION OF PEOPLE! PEOPLE THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW!”

Thankfully, the old man got my point, that I was clearly done with him and his opinions, and walked away to bother another customer. We walked past each other a while later, and he couldn’t look me in the eye. He started to, but turned abruptly.

That’s when I knew… maybe he was actually thinking about what I said. I didn’t care if he continued spouting his shit, or if he walked away and thought about it deeply. All I cared about was making him stop long enough to think about what he was saying at that moment. Spraying evil, all around… and CLAIMING to be a Christian.

That’s the kind of person who makes all Christians look bad, and drives new believers away. That’s what I hate!

A True Christian

01 DuBois Falls

I realized something this morning, as I watched a video or two of Hillsong United. The first video showed them playing a concert somewhere in India (I think) and the massive audience was singing along with the song, as if they’d sang it a million times before. Then I watched them singing “Touch the Sky” in Spanish, as it looked like they were playing somewhere in Mexico or Brazil. Even in Spanish, everyone in the audience was singing along, praising God… It was Beautiful!

And for the first time, I realized how music is spreading the Word of God, the Love for God, across the globe. Being in America, we tend to think we ARE the Christian base, the Christian believers of the world. But missionaries have been spreading the word for centuries, all across the world. It made me tear up, watching them singing such a beautiful song, completely in Spanish. It sounded wonderful. And the love and joy they were feeling is clearly visible.

During both video’s they were showing at different times the conditions these people were living in, the trash dumps, tiny one room shacks with sheets for walls, the flies in their eyes, even one woman was living in a giant cement pipe used for sewage, but empty at the time, and lying somewhere in a desert town; here toddler runs to her as she sits in the shade of the pipe. And my heart is breaking, knowing these people are just barely living, barely alive, without food, without even a box for a home, just barely surviving on the edge of life…. and here we sit, eating fattening cheeseburgers and pizza, living in giant new homes, palaces to them… talking on our phones, and complaining the service isn’t fast enough and our electric bills are our of control.

And yet, it isn’t our fault we were born here, in the luxury of the US. It isn’t our fault that we have school systems in place to teach our children, and libraries to learn from, or parents with the ability to take care of us until we can take care of ourselves. YES, none of that is our fault, or our choice. We were born into it.

But can you even wrap your mind around the thought that someone else was born into poverty… like none you have ever seen? No home, no clothes, eating dirt to fill your empty cramping painful stomach, no water unless you drink the gray and brown puddle that’s been shit in by a cow or goat, or human. Such utter poverty that you scour through a dump site looking for a bent fork to bend back into shape and sell for less than a penny to get a teaspoon of rice to eat. Or find a dirty stained shirt to wear, because yours no longer has sleeves or is the same shirt you wore for 5 years and it’s too small for you or in filthy tatters.

No. You can’t imagine it, not until you see it live. Or live it. Just the simple idea that you have a flower in your yard to gaze at, one you may have planted yourself, and the poorest of the poor have never seen a flower. They see dirt, for miles on end, nothing but dirt; dirt and sand, blowing in the wind, into your eyes, covering your body, and they have never even seen a single flower. Because where there is no water, there are no flowers. Or food, or weeds, or herbs, or trees. Nothing, but pain, hunger, thirst, cold nights and baking hot days, and no home to go to. No parents to help. And certainly no government that will help you in any way.

That is what they live with daily. What they survive. Could you survive that?? Could I??

This is what God meant when He said “Take care of the poor!”

The true poor. Not some woman or man who is too lazy to support themselves and lives off welfare so they don’t have to work, stating they can’t work because no one will hire them, or they have back problems, or allergies, or whatever lame excuse they come up with. They are only poor in spirit. They have no idea what it is like to be truly poor. Plus here, they will not go without food. Even our poorest of the poor can walk to a soup kitchen, or get get food stamps, or stay in a shelter if there is room, and be fed. Yes we have poor people who are starving and homeless, but they can find food if they aren’t too messed up on drugs or alcohol to get it. Being homeless is a far greater issue, once in a while it is due to choice, but for the most part if they choose to, they can work their way back to a poor existence, one where they have some sort of shelter and money for food.

I myself have been poor for as long as I can remember. But I never go without a job or food, and I may live in a crappy trailer, but it has a roof and bathroom and running water that spews out of a faucet, so I don’t have to walk miles to get it. Or boil it just to drink it. I have always considered myself monetarily poor, but never truly poor. That is a whole new level I am thankful I will never have to endure. Because I live here. Because I have parents who would still take care of me if I needed help. Cousins, Uncles, Brothers and Sisters too. All who I could contact if I needed to for help.

The true poor have no one. NO ONE BUT YOU and GOD!

So the next time you are on your cell phone, and can’t upload your favorite song, that you are willing to spend $5.00 for…. think about the people around the world who could feed their entire family for that measly $5.00…. and do something about it! YOU CAN LIVE without it. THEY CANNOT!!!!!!

THAT is being a TRUE CHRISTIAN!!!

2

innocence

stumbling, stuttering and sputtering into life

when passion becomes screaming and grins

life is a purple sunshiny explosion

with innocence sparkling beneath shenanigans

just as a garter snake becomes an entire zoo

or a spider starts a war filled with booboos

rolling eyes and completely losing your mind

over a shiny motorcycle of any kind

up until the motor is a roaring dragon

cover your ears and flee behind

long jean wrapped legs screaming security

maybe peeking out between the two

or if all else fails just cover your eyes

if you don’t see it it can’t hurt you

like the dusty crawling monster under your bed

or the scary eyes of the grocery store crabs

your drawn with an undying thirst to see it all

touch everything with slobbers or grabs

until you’re drained of all energy and moisture

and begging frantically for your sippy cup

silenced finally burying your head underneath

your Mother’s hair to dream of a nice fire truck

Potholes

WP_20150518_17_07_22_Pro

driving through streets

of potholed people

you only dodge

driving around

telling story after story

jaded into a green essence

melting over them

like an evil dripping syrup

or a heavy haze of justice

you are not divine enough

to execute

yet able to walk by

the stones left by

the beaten

while you look upwards

to GOD… in avoidance

for you have a job

because your parents earned it

a character absent as an alien

a mettle of concern

only consumed with you

teaching forgiveness

from a hilly multitude of greed

strangling your own heart

with an almost organic

hypocrisy

of thou shalt not JUDGE

this….

this may ultimately be

God’s reason for denial

In This Being

4

 

Half of the time

rebels are lovely

you just have to catch them

at it, unawares, when

they’re not looking

for inevitably if they know

you’re watching

they behave differently

stand taller, form their thoughts

shake their bangs out of their eyes

swish their tail in a springy way

ultimately just a show pony

with long eyelashes

and a meaty hind end

but if you manage to sneak up

and see them meandering through

the tall grass, wind in their hair

a sunlit sparkle in their eye

you’ll see a moment of truth

an intensely felt flash of

perfect contentment

and there lies the soul

the root of this being

for you to see clearly

****

remember

THIS MOMENT… IN THIS BEING

when you need to forgive

forget or let betrayal go

for stubbornness comes

in many forms

from at least two angles

split by that fence

the long trampled grasses

at your feet

and the obstinate bees

mulish in their relentless pursuit

of each and every flower

Joyful Ache

why do my tears fall freely

tightness grips my throat

an ache rises from my chest

taking over my vocal chords

drowning my mouth in ache

when I listen to an unusual case of people being extremely kind

someone blessing another without knowing they were

or maybe they did know

the sweeping feeling

of deep deep joy

I find most times it’s the same way I feel

every time I think about every single blessing

in my life

listed out one by one

adding up to

God’s Amazing Grace

Diving In

1

diving in

head first

heart splayed wide

as the eldest petals

of a scented bloom

giving generously

risk forgotten

never expecting

anything

in return

creates an abundant

echo of esteem

akin to sunshine

as a gentle kiss

of unselfish peace

touched with the tiniest

hint of glory

bursts ultimately

into the birth

of true love

I DID IT!!!

01 ME PARAGLIDING JUNE 25 SOLO

I felt Your presence today

it was beyond glorious

my excitement rose

to the same height

as I did

but peace flooded in

as I sailed across the sky

and I knew You

were the wind

beneath my wing

I can’t thank You enough

there are no words

but the smile

from ear to ear

I’m sure

made it perfectly clear

Thank You God

for this amazing gift!

Opening Innocently

3a

 

the depth of pure white

the ghost of a love

wild with curiosity

allured by the light

attaining the striking beauty

of the rare honesty

in a radiant soul

pales into a blush

as it believes in truth

opening innocently

only to the Son

ONE

1down

Can you imagine how the world would be changed… if we all thought “we are one”? If we all treated each other as if we were one single person?

There would be no hunger, no super rich, no homeless or poor… because we would simply treat each other as if we were them. We would instead think, THIS is enough. When is it enough? When do you have enough, you don’t feel you need more?

We would never have a reason to go to war, because who in their right mind starts a war with themselves? No one ever WANTS to kill themselves.

We would never destroy the earth in any way, we would FIND ways to travel from place to place, or to build things, without stripping and polluting our natural resources or killing animals for sport to make ourselves prettier or more virile. We wouldn’t need THINGS to fill our homes with that were useless and unneeded, because we wouldn’t need to impress ourselves.

There would be no such thing as a slave, which there is still, in this day and age. We feel so enlightened, and intelligent… yet in 2015 there are still SLAVES in our world.

There are still people who think it is ok to kill and murder over their beliefs, yet if we thought of each other as one, there would NEVER be a reason to kill yourself because you believe what you believe. There would be no suicide. No desperation, no loss and loneliness, for we would all be ONE.

I CAN IMAGINE IT! Can you?

I can imagine it right now, but only in what I imagine Heaven is like. That MUST be what Heaven is. We all become ONE!

I think I’ve said these things before, but I just felt the need to say them again. Maybe get the ball rolling. Maybe make just one of you stop and consider this… and begin to LIVE your life in this way. LIVE your life, don’t just make a living. Make a difference. BE THE SOURCE. BE ONE!

Maybe…. one day…  🙂