slumped in the cold
as you are
you drift by
without a glance
as to how
they came to be
Driving forward, nothing can stop him
With the will of a weed, he will steer
Through the chaos that fills every moment
Squealing tires and melting hearts, with little to no fear
Determined to make a life long remembered
His grip tight and spirit second to none
Taking his life and the world by storm
Transcending the scar of a forsaken son
No doubts trouble his insightful vision
Plowing through problems with ease and grace
His strength growing with each passing year
Determined to conquer and win each race
Shining his light into the darkest of realms
His fire for life a rare maternal element
Blinding en masse as his journey unfolds
His passion leads him to complete fulfillment
He will make each of his dreams happen
He’s a supernova just waiting to explode
Coupled with traits such as will and desire
Nothing can stop him or veer him off road
most likely its my greatest of woes
like climbing a mountain with no toes
or swimming an ocean for a deep breath
what will I do if it means my death
this not forgiving I hold a grudge
double the anger gives me a nudge
greedy parasites cover earth in a mist
and cruelty is at the top of the my list
growing longer than impatience endures
with my peeves flying past in sharp blurs
I stumble repeatedly flailing off a deadly cliff
falling into shit with a miserable whiff
not quite finding the strength to dig on out
I crawl towards the mountain clawing about
while my heart and hands are covered in pain
I’ve given in to an endless reign
of evil and heartache till I’m finally full
rupturing and bursting my only soul
never learning that vengeance is God’s alone
only His to smite from His Holy throne
Wake up sheeple, we’re all just Mashed Potatoes and Gravy… all mixed up together!
THE ONLY THING THAT DETERMINES SKIN COLOR IS THE SUN!
If your family lives near the equator, you will have darker skin, to reflect the sun’s damaging rays and protect you from too much Vitamin D absorption.
The need for the right amount of Vitamin D is copied into our DNA and passed down to our children to keep them healthy.
THIS IS THE ONLY REASON WE HAVE DIFFERENT SHADES OF HUMANS!!!
SO WAKE UP ALL YOU IDIOT BIGOTS AND RACISTS!!! WE ARE ALL THE SAME!!!!!!!
oh, His eyes
were windows into my soul
an arrow slicing
into the desperate bottom
I had slid to
the faded shame
still circling the edges
of my darkest moment
accenting the distant light
as it floods over the brim
no stone untouched
except the one
I sat upon
wallowing in my own past
His eyes warmed
and I knew His love again
as the light drew nearer
touched my heart
pulling ever pulling
as if a blackbird
stretching the darkness
until it snapped
silver colored rain splatters upon the ground
spreading out like running sheep
hands flinging fingers open wide
making a point before a beep
muscles pulling the grandest jete
toes reaching the horizon in a leap
the minds of children creating joy
dreaming wildly while sound asleep
the look of new parents in any species
their tears of love uncontrollably seep
or me flying like a majestic bird
making memories I will forever keep
as easily as the trees in the breeze
the simple loves in life
make me weep
I wrote this because a friend and I were discussing how often she cries when people are mean to her. Its part of our job to deal with assholes, but it occurred to me when she said this, that I cry due to joy more often than anything else. Sure, I’m very empathetic and I cry easily if a friend is sad, and I’ll admit I have cried while watching many different types of moves, ie, the Green Mile, Phenomenon, where I bawled like a baby, and even at the end of Armageddon. (more for her losing her father, than for BW dying. lol ) Still for the most part, with mean people, I tend to get very Motherly and put them in their place. Even if I need to yell to do it! lol But my friend has a tender heart, isn’t very tough on the inside, and lets people walk all over her, which is sad, but I think a huge waste of tears. Those who are mean are just assholes, and you just have to let it wash over you, knowing they are miserable and will always be. Not my problem, not me that caused theirs. Simple as that.
But I’ve also learned over the years, it’s hard to teach someone to be strong, when they have no faith to give them strength. People say all the time…. OH I BELIEVE IN GOD… yet they have never once given their problem to God, wholeheartedly believed HE would take care of it, and relaxed back in the peace that this simple surrender will give. BUT YOU MUST HAVE FAITH. You must truly believe HE WILL HANDLE IT… and most people don’t.
They’re all about lip service.
I do it daily. Usually in the morning while I drive somewhere. For some reason God and I do a lot of chatting in my truck. I ask for parking lot angels, idiot angels to keep me safe on the highway from idiot terrourrists, whatever I need, God wants me to ask Him to do it… so I do. And I am peaceful inside, not worrying about anything, throughout most of my day. Some days, yeah, I’m tired, loose my temper and have to shut someone up… but hey, no one’s perfect. lol And God knows me inside and out. He knew I was going to do that. So why get upset, why chastise myself for not handling it right? Nope, I move on. Life is TOO SHORT to worry about the little shit. God knows why I reacted the way I did, and I ask him to forgive me when I know I’ve been wrong.
But folks, all in all, with all the weird problems in my life, I am a pretty happy person!
I find peace daily.
So, here’s my question for you all today….
Is it possible we can ‘earn’ immortality?
Or… for the other side of the coin; could we ‘evolve’ into it, on our own?
Someone mentioned it, and I can’t stop thinking about it. So here’s my thoughts, don’t forget to share yours.
On the one hand, there is a God, but scripture’s say it is not the deeds you do, it is the love you have inside for God, everything else, everyone else, that gets you into heaven… the eternal mortality that God offers is the goal; the bait; the one thing you do not have here on Earth. You’ve experienced love, been loved (hopefully) by at least one other being in your life, so maybe a new Daddy figure isn’t something you feel you need. But to live forever… FOR EVER? It would be cool and boring, probably at the same time, and if everyone you loved wasn’t immortal, it would be amazing yet incredibly sad. But think about it, if we all lived forever, here on Earth, we would be wall to wall people… the planet couldn’t support us all… it would be much like it is now, with a lot more starvation thrown in. A lot.
But what if immortal doesn’t mean with your current body? What if immortal is impossible with our body?
Would you want it with your soul? Would you want it if they told you your brain went with it?? Or I should say, your mind? How about your heart; your love? Your feelings?? Wouldn’t you need all these things, for immortality to work? So where do our thoughts, feelings and love come from, if not our soul? Our brain tells our lungs to breathe; but what tells your lungs to hold your breath when you kiss? Or swim? Or blow up a balloon? This is your mind, not your brain. This is you… part of your soul. It floods you with warmth when you’re happy, and it chills you when someone you love dies. It rises up to sing with your favorite song. It explodes in your heart when you hold your child for the first time forcing you to cry with joy.
All this … does it go with your soul? Of course. It is your soul. This is what will become immortal with God. You. Your essence. Your entire soul. And from what I hear, you get the coolest set of WINGS to boot! So in some way… they have to be attached to you…. so you must end up with a body of some sort…right???
Now we go to the evolving aspect. It must be possible, somewhere, somehow, because we know how DNA works. Say you’re the one being on a planet who’s DNA alters just enough to where your cells never die, they just recycle themselves in some way… yes you would be the first…
but think about it… out of the BILLIONS of species on this planet, I would guess ALL of them… ALL of them have NEVER ONCE had their genes mutate into immortality. Are WE humans really that special that our DNA would suddenly evolve in a different way than every other species on this planet? If you believe in evolution, you also believe that something had to have seeded this planet with life, ie, bacteria from asteroids…etc.
That being said, literally, anything is possible. We know so little about our lives, our bodies, the world… the universes… it’s embarrassing really. But, we have only been around for about 10,000 years. Compare that to …. frogs… and you’d be blushing again, they’ve been around for over 200 million years…. so lets pick something younger in eon terms… how about a simple rose…. not even close, they’ve been around for about 35 million years… I could go on… my point… we are the youngest species on this planet. With maybe 10 other exceptions, mostly crap our lab tech’s have grown.. that they shouldn’t have!
There are also a few worms, flies and brine shrimp that can all go into suspended animation… the brine can survive up to 10,000 years… add water, and bam, you’ve got brine shrimp… but that’s only suspending life, not living eternally… and well, they’re bugs ya’ll! Bugs! lol they don’t even know what being alive is.
So the chances that we could alter ourselves into immortality is pretty ridiculous. The fact that we don’t even understand HOW our cells know when to change, or why… or what made that protein decide to turn on a switch… folks… we don’t know SHIT! OK! We only know the obvious, and that’s about .0000009% of what we need to know.
So my view is obvious… unless you’re severely slow you’ve figured it out by now… I say, go with God! He’s your best bet at becoming immortal! I truly don’t see us, a bacteria ourselves, evolving into anything as spectacular as an immortal being! But you will never earn it, with good deeds. You just have to LOVE!!! And it’s so easy to love God, and everything and everyone else… try it sometime.
Just go one day… where every single thing you see, every person, dog, flower… from the mailman to the boss you hate every other day… and be kind to them. Show them love. And SEE what happens. Maybe nothing, maybe not… either way, sit back and FEEL what you did.
ENJOY that feeling of peace and happiness that your entire body has been tricked into feeling! Sink into it. Each time you are kind, people usually show you thanks, or love…. each time you reach out and touch someone physically, you are giving love, and USUALLY you will get love back. (now don’t be getting all pervy… lol) JUST TRY IT!!! And you will see… that feeling this way… is the GREATEST thing on earth. Right up there with the immortality you are going to experience!!
It never seems to stop
It flows into wideness
pushing at sloped walls
fraught with turbulence
sanded by stone
ingrained in the depths
of your soul.
You will know
when you immerse yourself
in a stream of truth;
just ask yourself
is it prodding you
onto an easier path
or simply goading you
over a cliff ??
nesting in your soul
just beneath a cloudy day
right above a dried up creek
lies a motionless rubble strewn path
covered in weak branches
chipped at boulders
and burnt sage of all colors
waiting foolishly stubbornly
for a deluge
to save them
to meet their need
to relieve its loneliest limb
down to it’s deepest root
but the clouds won’t give
and the water walked away
the very same moment you did
she was never one for waiting
chasing whatever lit her heart
into a flame
except that one time
she’ll never forget
for it lasted for years
the dreams day and night
the never ending waiting
that never ended
it was just gone one day
leaving an empty hole
where love had once curled up
surrounded by a glow
of innocence and optimism
until the waiting dragged on
like a painful tooth ache
or a throbbing migraine
she’d tried to end it all
but God stopped her
but not the never ending
the never ending ache
darkening her soul
that never ended
for he had always said
time gives everything
to those who wait
and she’d waited
through the greatest years
of her life
a part of her had waited
always been waiting
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU FOR 4 GREAT YEARS!
Evidently March of 2012 I started this blog, and have managed to keep it going for 4 years! Congrats to ME! lol You have to understand, being ADHD, this is quite the feat. I normally last about 2 years doing anything, before I’m bored and move on. This includes any type of exercise, sex, work, or play I get involved in. I’m not joking in the least, most of life has come and gone for me. I’ve lived in 10 different states, and only plan on leaving here… for Alaska… but still haven’t talked my self into that one… it would be a one way trip, I’m sure. lol I’ve had so many different types of employment, from military to factory worker to secretary to field geologist, security officer…hahaha… to property manager, postal worker…eeeek….and that’s just what I can think of off the top of my pointy head… good Lord!… not counting motherhood of course… and I can’t remember how many there are… at least 20 or some awful amount I‘m sure. My running record is 3 years max at any one job. Well, other than writing, of course. I mean a job that pays!
And you know what, I could care less that I don’t have a huge pension coming from some company I slaved at for 30 years… doing the same damn thing over and over and over again….by now I would have blown my head off! Jumped off a tall building, something… to bring life into me. ha! I say congrats to all of you who have managed to do this… I wish you luck… and a happy retirement. But for me… I LIVE FOR TODAY BABY!
I spend all my extra money on playing, because saving more than $5000 is ridiculous in my book. Money is always losing value, you can’t trust the stock market, or bonds even… so I say “have a blast”!
Anyway, sorry, got distracted there…hahaha I said ADHD!!!
So, managing to keep this blog up and running… well, I have to say… I owe it all to you! All of YOU!!! out there, who comment sincerely, I love you all!!
I also thank GOD, YHVH, The One and Only, for inspiring me to start it, and gives me the words when I ask. He gives me ALL my poetry for Him, even helps me write other stories, He inspires my stained glass, and steadies my hand for photography, but mostly… HE GIVES ME PEACE AND JOY!!! Like nothing else I’ve ever found.
You ALL make my day! You give me inspiration! and you give me FRIENDSHIP I can’t find anywhere else!
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU FOR 4 GREAT YEARS!!!!
A gentleman walks by me, pleasant as pie, smiles and says “Mornin’”. The green dress clashes terribly a in huge fashion faux pas by partnering it with dirty brown Muck Lucks; white tube socks rolled to the knee cap. He’s a regular, and likes to chat a bit. One hand gently pressed against his lower lip as he waits for my response. Today his nails are black, but only a misshaped swampy island in the center of each.
“How’s it going?” My smile stiffens as I realize what I just said. To me, that’s like saying “hello”. With friends, it’s a real question, but acquaintances, not so much. It’s habit. I wish I was hiding under one. Tonight I’m tired. Didn’t get even an hours’ sleep. My back hurts. I’m just not in a good mood.
I try to lighten lives every day, thinking by sharing one tiny personal bit of info with another person, it shows they are not alone. I’ve done this my entire life, ever since a friend of mine died when we were young. It ended up being a freak accident. But suicide had been a topic we were all interested in at the time, I can’t remember why, but maybe it was just our age. My friend had written something and it grew into my roots. “If just one person had acted like I mattered, anyone, I wouldn’t have done it.”
Sitting on her bed, as I read her diary, she’d written a suicide note just weeks before, getting ready. She’d changed her mind; I never new why, but she didn’t do it. Just the idea of it, hurt my soul. I thought her life was fine. I also thought I was her friend, her good friend. Yet I had no idea she was contemplating suicide. I’d heard her say many times, that she felt alone in school, at home, even when she was out with friends. She felt apart, somehow. We always seemed to have fun, to me.
It stayed with me, became part of me, became a first response for me. I’ve always joked with people, strangers, friends… always. I love to laugh. And for the most part, I take the time to listen to people, even when they’re ranting, because everyone needs to be heard.
So the gentleman smirks, and launches into his latest problem; he needs a new razor blade for his electric razor, which I know instantly we only carry the cheap plastic emergency kind in the store. His full beard is at least an inch long, so I grin and say, “Well, I guess you’ll just have to become a Quaker.”
His giggle becomes a twitter and I try to make my escape. Three more times he comes to the counter and pulls out the hair and grease filled razor, showing me the old blade, in the hopes that new ones will magically appear. Each time my skin crawls at the nasty wad of pubes still stuck inside.
His last trip to the counter was timed to coincide with an empty store. Razor now back in the bag over his wrist, he says to me, “I want you to know I appreciate the fact that I never get the “judgy” tone from you. You talk to me like I’m “normal”. I just wanted to say thanks.” He was blushing a lovely shade of apricot, his eyes sparkled in the bright light.
I said, “The day I become perfect, is the day I will judge you. And you are normal. You are more normal than a lot of people I know.” For someone who was almost six feet tall, he ducked his head down so low I couldn’t see his eyes any longer, but his hand darted out and squeezed mine quickly before he left the store at a run.
I smiled, feeling good for a moment, and thought, “Now, how will I break it to him that the Muck Luck’s make him look like Grandma Eskimo!”
Another day… another try.
her knee peeked at her through an un-mendable hole
flannel two sizes too large billowing above three floors
of open space with six feet of ‘the willies’ to go
where the echoes of his laughter egged her on
here gripped the hand-me-down queen of clubs
completing the dare, it was always about the dare
the wall moved in a leaf killing wind
he picked his nose waiting in a silhouette
of sunshine streaming through the peak’s window
elbows shaking, her nails digging into ancient wood
giant “X’s” of two inch rotting death
for the hay pile below was almost as old
as the memories she would carry to her grave
of his hair glimmering as if he were an angel
about to throw his life away from four stories up
mastering an eleven year old flip
before landing in the decayed hay below
fluffy for about two inches, then dirt mostly
but she had to reach him first
or where was the fun in that
if she didn’t witness his feat inducing bragging
there would be no point, he’d wasted an hour
despite ending the day with a twisted ankle
or broken neck, they had no reference for that
she could never say no, for nine times out of ten
it was fun, he was fun, laughing his way through life
so of course, that day was the first time she ever flew
my life is but a drop
in an ocean raging
in one bleak moment
tossed under thunder
tears crashing in waves
and stunningly still the next
with the kiss of a breeze
blown beyond my awareness
I reel at the emptiness
as my being is sucked
into a roaring whirlpool
churning inside and out
squeezing my squeals
into moans and stutters
and when my last breath
and my final thought
are suddenly stolen
all I hear
is the ocean’s heartbeat
a distant shore
the window frame sagged
her finger trailed through dust
the floor rose up in a swirl as she passed
the ratty piece of carpet lying just here
along with the memory of clattering dishes
burnt onions and a hunched vacuum cleaner
still plugged in
Perry Mason arguing a case
echoing behind naïve voices arguing a case
floating on the mites fleeing for cover
as the ancient desk filled the room
struggling to hold up
the rainbow of folders and fluttering notebooks
flying their way to the floor
one by one
some finding refuge on the paisley cushion
crushed into a canoe and now home to mice
becoming a new roof on a den
but the pen
chewed cap still in place
lay amongst her life
listing as her last thoughts lay beneath
… eyes blurring she blinked the words into focus
“YOU completed me… still, they suffered. Why…
didn’t You tell me?”
a sigh escaped as a rolled and worn sheet
leaped with hope
tapping once before finding rest
while its turbulence chases a fur ball
into fleeing for the sunshine
through the front door swinging wide
and following its own dream
of becoming a butterfly
for Jeannie XXOOO
to move mountains
one rocky bit at a time
begins with a tear drop
shameless and unswerving
lured by a deep desire
becoming a legion
by a singular longing
picking up speed
unable to resist
a tiny grain slips away
Have you all noticed… actually registered in your mind… how as you stroll through the myriad of others’ blogs, absorbing their takes on life and what is happening in their lives…. that your brain is triggered into inspiration???
I find being on wordpress has literally expanded not only my knowledge of events and life around the globe… but I am inspired daily by you all!!! New ideas come flooding into my mind as I read through everyone else’s blogs. It is making me a better writer!!
I think maybe for just a second or two … we should all stop what we’re doing… and think about life before the internet… as writers; were you all writing daily, in your own way… or were the dreams of writing hidden behind the rest of your life?
Until one day… bamm…. you discover wordpress… and began for the first time to really express your inner thoughts and desires… to have a voice… even if only one other person hears it…
I truly believe that the internet is bringing us closer as a global species… yet farther away as a family. We spend hours glued to laptops reading and watching others living life… missing out on moments with the lives in the next room… to draw closer to the world as a whole.
Maybe a hundred years from now, if we haven’t blown ourselves to bits, we can look back and say… this saved the planet. This… communication on a mass scale from every corner or round spot on the planet to every dip and dimple. Surely now… we will realize how we are all the same… all human… all hurt… all need love…
But I love being inspired with new ideas each day, even if I don’t have time to write about them.
So THANKS WORDPRESS… well done! and thanks to all the other writers, artists, photographers, and crazy people who inspire us all!
I realized something this morning, as I watched a video or two of Hillsong United. The first video showed them playing a concert somewhere in India (I think) and the massive audience was singing along with the song, as if they’d sang it a million times before. Then I watched them singing “Touch the Sky” in Spanish, as it looked like they were playing somewhere in Mexico or Brazil. Even in Spanish, everyone in the audience was singing along, praising God… It was Beautiful!
And for the first time, I realized how music is spreading the Word of God, the Love for God, across the globe. Being in America, we tend to think we ARE the Christian base, the Christian believers of the world. But missionaries have been spreading the word for centuries, all across the world. It made me tear up, watching them singing such a beautiful song, completely in Spanish. It sounded wonderful. And the love and joy they were feeling is clearly visible.
During both video’s they were showing at different times the conditions these people were living in, the trash dumps, tiny one room shacks with sheets for walls, the flies in their eyes, even one woman was living in a giant cement pipe used for sewage, but empty at the time, and lying somewhere in a desert town; here toddler runs to her as she sits in the shade of the pipe. And my heart is breaking, knowing these people are just barely living, barely alive, without food, without even a box for a home, just barely surviving on the edge of life…. and here we sit, eating fattening cheeseburgers and pizza, living in giant new homes, palaces to them… talking on our phones, and complaining the service isn’t fast enough and our electric bills are our of control.
And yet, it isn’t our fault we were born here, in the luxury of the US. It isn’t our fault that we have school systems in place to teach our children, and libraries to learn from, or parents with the ability to take care of us until we can take care of ourselves. YES, none of that is our fault, or our choice. We were born into it.
But can you even wrap your mind around the thought that someone else was born into poverty… like none you have ever seen? No home, no clothes, eating dirt to fill your empty cramping painful stomach, no water unless you drink the gray and brown puddle that’s been shit in by a cow or goat, or human. Such utter poverty that you scour through a dump site looking for a bent fork to bend back into shape and sell for less than a penny to get a teaspoon of rice to eat. Or find a dirty stained shirt to wear, because yours no longer has sleeves or is the same shirt you wore for 5 years and it’s too small for you or in filthy tatters.
No. You can’t imagine it, not until you see it live. Or live it. Just the simple idea that you have a flower in your yard to gaze at, one you may have planted yourself, and the poorest of the poor have never seen a flower. They see dirt, for miles on end, nothing but dirt; dirt and sand, blowing in the wind, into your eyes, covering your body, and they have never even seen a single flower. Because where there is no water, there are no flowers. Or food, or weeds, or herbs, or trees. Nothing, but pain, hunger, thirst, cold nights and baking hot days, and no home to go to. No parents to help. And certainly no government that will help you in any way.
That is what they live with daily. What they survive. Could you survive that?? Could I??
This is what God meant when He said “Take care of the poor!”
The true poor. Not some woman or man who is too lazy to support themselves and lives off welfare so they don’t have to work, stating they can’t work because no one will hire them, or they have back problems, or allergies, or whatever lame excuse they come up with. They are only poor in spirit. They have no idea what it is like to be truly poor. Plus here, they will not go without food. Even our poorest of the poor can walk to a soup kitchen, or get get food stamps, or stay in a shelter if there is room, and be fed. Yes we have poor people who are starving and homeless, but they can find food if they aren’t too messed up on drugs or alcohol to get it. Being homeless is a far greater issue, once in a while it is due to choice, but for the most part if they choose to, they can work their way back to a poor existence, one where they have some sort of shelter and money for food.
I myself have been poor for as long as I can remember. But I never go without a job or food, and I may live in a crappy trailer, but it has a roof and bathroom and running water that spews out of a faucet, so I don’t have to walk miles to get it. Or boil it just to drink it. I have always considered myself monetarily poor, but never truly poor. That is a whole new level I am thankful I will never have to endure. Because I live here. Because I have parents who would still take care of me if I needed help. Cousins, Uncles, Brothers and Sisters too. All who I could contact if I needed to for help.
The true poor have no one. NO ONE BUT YOU and GOD!
So the next time you are on your cell phone, and can’t upload your favorite song, that you are willing to spend $5.00 for…. think about the people around the world who could feed their entire family for that measly $5.00…. and do something about it! YOU CAN LIVE without it. THEY CANNOT!!!!!!
THAT is being a TRUE CHRISTIAN!!!
Half of the time
rebels are lovely
you just have to catch them
at it, unawares, when
they’re not looking
for inevitably if they know
they behave differently
stand taller, form their thoughts
shake their bangs out of their eyes
swish their tail in a springy way
ultimately just a show pony
with long eyelashes
and a meaty hind end
but if you manage to sneak up
and see them meandering through
the tall grass, wind in their hair
a sunlit sparkle in their eye
you’ll see a moment of truth
an intensely felt flash of
and there lies the soul
the root of this being
for you to see clearly
THIS MOMENT… IN THIS BEING
when you need to forgive
forget or let betrayal go
for stubbornness comes
in many forms
from at least two angles
split by that fence
the long trampled grasses
at your feet
and the obstinate bees
mulish in their relentless pursuit
of each and every flower
Oh but he’s so stubborn
wanting to live outdoors
under no man but every man
living off the land
filled with garbage cans
dumpsters and oh ick
how can he eat that
he hasn’t showered
I can smell him from here
shooting the moon
hanging around all day
grazing as if he’s free
through the piles of ashtrays
in God knows what
shooing away the flies
swirling in his swirling eyes
oh yes he chose this life
to be free
he chose this life
walking in a straight line
on a path that curves and rises
balancing life to avoid
into the unknown
at the very end
or a beginning you fear
just around the corner
doesn’t mean you can’t
walk a tight rope
or trip yourself up
or fly through life
or bumbling tumbles
it only means
you are traveling
on a journey
into the unknown
remembering your past
forgetting your future
in every moment
Can you imagine how the world would be changed… if we all thought “we are one”? If we all treated each other as if we were one single person?
There would be no hunger, no super rich, no homeless or poor… because we would simply treat each other as if we were them. We would instead think, THIS is enough. When is it enough? When do you have enough, you don’t feel you need more?
We would never have a reason to go to war, because who in their right mind starts a war with themselves? No one ever WANTS to kill themselves.
We would never destroy the earth in any way, we would FIND ways to travel from place to place, or to build things, without stripping and polluting our natural resources or killing animals for sport to make ourselves prettier or more virile. We wouldn’t need THINGS to fill our homes with that were useless and unneeded, because we wouldn’t need to impress ourselves.
There would be no such thing as a slave, which there is still, in this day and age. We feel so enlightened, and intelligent… yet in 2015 there are still SLAVES in our world.
There are still people who think it is ok to kill and murder over their beliefs, yet if we thought of each other as one, there would NEVER be a reason to kill yourself because you believe what you believe. There would be no suicide. No desperation, no loss and loneliness, for we would all be ONE.
I CAN IMAGINE IT! Can you?
I can imagine it right now, but only in what I imagine Heaven is like. That MUST be what Heaven is. We all become ONE!
I think I’ve said these things before, but I just felt the need to say them again. Maybe get the ball rolling. Maybe make just one of you stop and consider this… and begin to LIVE your life in this way. LIVE your life, don’t just make a living. Make a difference. BE THE SOURCE. BE ONE!
Maybe…. one day… 🙂
a harmony of elements
all different all unique
a multitude of difference
a harmony of resonance
for a single sound
doesn’t rise or fall
there is no melody
in just a single chord
or a single element
or a simple tone
or a single human
or a simple mind
I thank Almighty God
for the fierce rain
often steeped in darkness
reminiscent of Cain
ripped apart in a storm
creating a bloodstain
heaving over mountains
revealing Heaven in pain
blessing the terrain
meant to sustain
keening wildly down
God’s Holy face
veiled with tearstain
seeing His children slain
souls greedy and vain
covered in an unholy stain
bound by a selfish chain
with the rain
Lost in a dry desolate life
void of the gentle touch of kindness
tortured by thorns turned inward,
those you may see or not.
Tossed aside for its deeds
and ignorant actions
when you could teach love
instead of disdain
and shame and pain.
For it is you who cast them
into dust and hopelessness
suffering hate, failure and loss
greater than a broken heart
greater than a wounded soul
as they are forgotten and rejected
by all who pass by.
Stepping aside quickly
to avoid apathy and guilt
until these thorns you see pointing
a straight path to love
have grown weary and fall
into the darkness you anoint…
For each soul etched with rain
forms more thorns strengthened
with each drop of pain.
floating away in a sea of clouds
of an age beyond innocent fury
watching the bonds blown apart
from above the will of a squall
the marriage of a lifetime looms
the accomplished rooted in a gale
the flurry fills a graceless culture
while I float away just a balloon
not even a permanent mist
slightly just out of reach
pausing when others run
pushed about in a storm
of my own gusty perceptions
watching them growing smaller
as I continue to travel on
leaving behind nothing humble
slowly becoming a bloated zealot
but then dubiously I burst
a wondrous splay of color
playing amongst the gray
dense edge of emptiness
standing back in a quiet rage
watching your world go up in a silent blaze
you scream inside
only hear your own voice
raving deep down you have no choice
the heat searing
sweat dripping down your spine
your fear becoming cancer…
growing yet benign
running like the wind
concentrating on the path ahead
heart racing as your feet outweigh lead
looking down once again
your footprints trailing once more
then you realize…
you’ve been there before
March 6, 2015
These spring flowers have been blooming now for over 2 weeks. They are planted
in North West Washington! A rainforest. Where spring comes in April!
I just felt the dire need to document the decline of our atmosphere. Our spring
has been moved up an entire month. Now think about the drought that will follow
this summer. Our summer will probably continue into fall like it did last year,
reaching into September. With the crazy weather back east mounting to disaster
levels no matter the storm, if you had any doubts about global warming,
you had better wake up and take a look around you. We have altered our planet,
beyond what is the norm of cycles for massive weather scale size changes.
You can only leave your head buried in the sand for so long, before you need to breathe.
Think about it, I beg you… there are many different ways you alone can make a difference.
And if we each believe by changing our habits in just one way,
we are all joining together to make change in a great way, then
we will change!!
His childhood buried a darkness that can be forgiven one day
Her first love controlled with bitter anger creating angels
Both sisters were afraid to go to bed but still call him father
Two brothers fled at the first chance yet broke the cycle
They lost both their sons to war while believing in the cause
On every inch of our planet you will find life
In every extreme with pain and suffering abounding
There is no black or white or purple or green
There is only pain and hope and sadness and joy
If you look inside just below the surface of wounds
You will find we are all the same
We are all different
Yet… we are all the same
the youth of today seem so very lost
the internet creating insecurity and isolation
facebook becoming a book of nameless faces
reaching out for love and desperate consolation
as elders we grew up without being slammed
by images of false beauty and fake fame
most of us remember a time before TV
where a sunset was glory without shame
I wish we could teach them they’re missing out
on a life in real time filled with touch
where self esteem grows with earned value
interaction blessing others, hugs and such
we’ve created this world of robotic loss
full of selfishness and loneliness abroad
where a vast high speed emptiness
is supremely void of a relationship with God
God loves me, this I know, very, very much,
I know by His constant forgiveness and His Grace filled touch,
He has never forsaken me, never left me behind,
Not once in my life, not in one moment I can find.
As I stood here, thinking about my life, I realized something about myself that I rarely admit to.
I am the greatest of sinners. I’ve gotten into the habit, each day as I head to work, of asking God to give me the strength to not gossip. You may say to yourself, oh, that’s not a big sin, but it is. It is just as bad as murder, rape, stealing or cheating. For each and every sin.. is just that, a sin. For it not only passes on bad feelings about someone else, and shows I know nothing about true love and forgiveness, but the hate for someone else increases. I am not only hurting this person, I am telling someone else to hurt them also. I am telling them this person should not be loved. I am giving them a reason to not value this person, to not trust this person, and to dislike them, not only for their own reason for this, but adding on mine.
I tell myself, I wouldn’t gossip if I wasn’t surrounded nonstop by people who do, which is true, but it is no excuse. I have no excuse that I can see for allowing myself to jump in and add to this gossip, which I do.
I tell myself I am pulled in by their unhappiness and hate, yet maybe only once a day do I manage to not join in bashing this person.
I tell myself it’s because I work, literally, in a den of thieves. In a place where greed runs rampant, and people are rude, selfish and worshiping money. But this is still no excuse.
I also tell myself, that God has given me this job, not only because I asked for it, but because it is the greatest test of my will and faith, that could have ever been placed before me. And I have failed miserably, almost every single day of work this past year.
I try to be honest with you all, and I realized as I gazed back at some of my recent posts, that I must sound like a true Christian to some of you, but that I truly need to let you all know… this is not the case.
I am a sinner. I am so far from perfect, I am shocked some days, by what comes out of my mouth. I may not kill, I may not lie, and I may not steal, but I clearly show I do not love like God wants me to.
I truly desire to be a true Christian, but as the saying goes, I am a work in progress. I am reaching for God, I am reaching for a goal that is almost insurmountable at times… yet I AM reaching. I AM trying. And I just felt the need today to let you all know… none of us is perfect. None of us even comes close. At least no one that I know personally. And I for one, am at the top of the list!! But…
I am trying. I am aware of my faults. I am willing to change. But I stumble, often, daily, hourly even. Still… I try.
And once I stop trying.. I will have lost the battle.
So forgive me all, for trying to sound so good and righteous, when clearly I am not. But don’t think for a moment, that I am stopping my pursuit of God! He knows me like no one else, and He still loves me with all His heart. THIS I know! And He forgives me, each day, because He knows… I am trying.
So keep trying… no matter what your battle may be… do not give up. He can forgive you any sin!! And He will. Just don’t give up trying not to commit that sin!
God Bless you all!
his mood shifted
from distance to blame
his eyes haunted remembering
how honesty turned to shame
a tear hovered on the edge
as he jerked looking away
into the beyond unknown
of an intensely longed for day
a blink of meek cowardice
flashed across the hazel flecks
thinking of his life tripping by
in years of desperate wrecks
looking back at life gone by
a squandered youth of pain
trembling and dire indiscretion
falling further toward insane
still he wavered picking his nails
his need growing scratching at his face
his legs pumping in nervous fear
not a shred of dignity left…
not even a trace
He chose the shallow shadows swirling crushing gripping his soul and in one jolt of electric pain
the shattering sound of hope exploded in my heart.
Twelve days of Christmas joy thrown to the dogs of hell
chasing him all the way down a road with no end in sight.
I hear the demons hot laughter as burning incessant insistent fire
rages through his rotting bones in a torrid expansion of desire.
My tears chase him exhausted blistering at the edge of a pit that no hand can grip
without scorching the flesh dragging all who try to ruin.
I see the murk like the slime of a thousand slugs dripping across his path
as he slips and falls and his will flails.
A nebula of gloom and dusk clouds over his clear eyes
like the brume of erebus blinding him from the light
binding him once again in the darkness known only as
pure unadulterated evil.
like a hummingbird
flitting in and out of a turtlehead flower
flitting in and out of my heart
like a butterfly
fluttering up and down in a breeze
fluttering up and down my spine
like a bird in flight
soaring high over life’s doubts
soaring high no matter what lies below
like a busy bee
buzzing in circles around my head
buzzing in circles is eternal
like a mockingbird
repeating a phrase such as:
he who has hope, has everything
therefore in this very moment
I have everything
climbing the walls
enduring the pain
he’s trying again
just like the rain
he wants to come back
suffering through it all
drenched in doubt
curled into a ball
up to day four
counting minutes past
the dark holding on
clinging to the last
drop of his strength
still reaching for light
sick and worn out
still trying to fight
the evil that has held
his life in endless hell
please pray one and all
he’ll soon be well
(… and make it this time …)
standing alone in a cold brisk wind
shivering beneath the clouds
a wave of shimmering snow falls
as they moan barely holding on
trying to stay warm
under a blanket of avoidance
with no one noticing them
as they pass by without
saying a word or kind thought
struggling every single minute
their world shattered
by indifference and disregard
yet we all know deep down
they shouldn’t be there
no matter the reason or way
still we pass by over and over
never once with true compassion
in our hearts
Finding forgiveness from one day to the next
in myself and for others is as hard as it gets.
There isn’t much in life that appears to be harder
even death can be easier to handle and find peace.
Losing a job, a friend, even a child lost in time
seems easier to process than forgiving someone.
Truly forgiving, deep down, letting it go to never return
makes us greater, stronger, able to rise above the pettiness.
Yet today I don’t seem to be able to find it in myself once again
therefore I pray, ask for strength and hope God will do the work.
Woot Woot, my second book is up and running!!! (Don’t download the Kindle version yet, it looks messed up and I just informed them it’s not showing properly… so it may be a day or so before it’s ready…)
here’s the link… in case you’re interested!! ONLY $11.92 right now!!
after months of nothing
no call no word
a Mother sinks in darkness
nothing at all to do
only fear rearing in ugliness
then panic sets in
as she gazes at a notice
about a foot and a shoe
the only found remains
floating silently adrift
cresting above the blue
the authorities baffled
as she reads the news
filled with heart stopping despair
making call after call
reaching out to everyone
blocking the passage of air
she prays through the night
her God her only hope
fearing the worst come true
a friend searched relentless
until in the wee hours
his call finally comes through
he’s fine or at least alive
still drug addicted and lost
as his life in darkness goes on
yet once again he wants to try
he says can I come home Mom
as his Mother weeps with the dawn
I wrote this poem today, to use in my second book,
Long Before Time; the Moses Beings.
Every four lines in a stanza are inserted at the beginning of each chapter. Yes, I know it is very long, the longest poem I have ever written, as each stanza is a short “poetic representation” of the chapter it heads. It is more like a short story, but there are 29 chapters in the book. lol
Enjoy, and I will applaud you if you make it to the end without falling asleep!! 🙂
Embroiled in a desert
yet frozen in time
life sparked in a fire anew
amidst a pulverized grime.
A journey began in darkness
creeping below a cool moon
searching for a hazy hope
waning in the afternoon.
An indigo hint of life
sprinkled like spring flowers
barren of song or soaring
emptiness fell in showers.
Danger near at every bend
yet faith endured echoing
a promise from beyond
nigh a spirit of knowing.
In sickness and in health
‘til death do they part
striving to survive
unrivaled love fills the heart.
endured for too long
shifting into joy
erupting into song.
Praying for comfort
kneeling on a mountain temple
abruptly desolate and alone
accepting far from simple.
Reaching a river’s edge
a black swirling menace
fighting back the tears
only calm on the surface.
an inconceivable cost
wandering and lost.
Still life finds a way
while painful to the weak
crafting laughter gently
for the humble and the meek.
The birth of all things new
from trees to life in the sea
outshines deaths’ stroke
as a bird soars free.
Winging its way to the ocean
heading into twilight
the day escapes in a flutter
a journey fashioned in flight.
The crushing of the waves
a thundering travesty
a pretense of floating beauty
brilliant as an eagle’s majesty.
Just as the mountains range down
reaching for its pebbles fallen
the sea grips life in a tide
rolling engorged and swollen.
Like bricks pounding
or a seashell of pearl
the ocean rages inward
in a deadly savage swirl.
Like the madness in a horse
eating until it’s bursting
a briny sadness fills the soul
and sorrow leaves it thirsting.
Similar to a wandering spirit
days turn into weeks of pain
the folly of a vagrant life
becomes a brackish rain.
Yet even Dahlia’s suddenly close
before a miserable storm
sealing up a meager home
their dwelling safe and warm.
Despite the unusualness
of the moon controlling the tides
announcing a novel presence
an owl rarely hides.
Survival means its hunting
nightly hour by hour
watching life above a darkened trail
eyes wide open and dour.
Prepared for the unexpected
option for an offered meal
like a bear or any other predator
an owl swoops in with zeal.
Known for their protectiveness
guarding against danger in the night
this spirit beneath the pale moon
only rests in bright sunlight.
Truly as the twinkle of stars light
an ancient well-worn path
this bird of prey knows not
to incur an eagle’s wrath.
As he soars above all
a surveying menace in his domain
spiraling down to his mate
safely nested his children remain.
Thus he journeys far and wide
he will die to shield and defend
his offspring from any calamity
with almighty talons to rend.
For she has birthed
the greatest glory to God
majestic and grand
for all to applaud.
Then he will teach them
every skill he’s ever known
how to reach the almighty heavens
just as he was shown.
For nothing is greater upon this Earth
than reaching Almighty God above
rising above the windswept skies
and receiving His Almighty Love.
my mouth spews before my brain catches up
yet even without names to blame
I know it’s not right
somehow I’ve missed the part
turn the other cheek
so why did it feel so good at first
releasing pent up frustration
it reminds me of Yeshuah
when he destroyed the moneychangers
and screamed at their filth
filling a house of God
I know I have no right to this anger
its not even close to righteous
but I wonder if sometimes even He
was just so disgusted with others
he wanted to scream for a moment too
and felt bad later
the shame creeping in
at letting the human side rule
even for a second
dragging us down
and if His Father was disappointed
or simply told Him
When they say “Leave the driving to us,” they intentionally leave out the rest. Or maybe that’s the catchy phrase for the Greyhound bus service, not sure, but it fits nicely to the Amtrak train ride from hell. I can completely relate to the old term, “Hell on wheels.”
I listen to a guitar picker playing “Yes, we have no bananas,” at least 15 times, I lost count after 9. I can’t sit in my seat any longer, the perfume thick as thieves is choking me. So I’m stuck hanging out in the dining car after the bar closed the first night. Hungry, sober, tired and bored, book finished… now what? I plug in my laptop and play Spider Solitaire ‘til my eyes meet the Jack’s, only stopping when I begin to have feelings for him.
Another hour or so until the next cigarette stop. This is where we stop in some deserted town, everyone scrambles outside, to stand in the cold foggy mist at least 30 paces from the doors. I don’t know where, don’t care, just stop…please let me out.
This was only the beginning of the 36 hours of almost continual hell punctuated by two hours of humor and 34 hours of nasty smells. The re-circulated air of 200 people should be illegal. I can’t get comfortable, seats are straight up church pews, for the money I paid to let them drive for me, they should be Lazy-boy recliners.
Fast forward 6 hours and the conductor says over the intercom, “We apologize for the inconvenience, but the dining car bathroom is plugged up,” to which I leave the dining car area and head for the other end of the mile long train. The aroma wafting throughout chases me mercilessly and could kill a bull elephant.
3 minute cigarette break in the middle of Los Angeles, aaah… fresh air.
I purchase a bottle of water for a mere $3.50, then contemplate the same amount for a bag of chips, or $9.00 for a slimy Italian sandwich from a vending machine. I choose the sandwich, much to my dismay. The sideways rocking of the train makes me want to hurl said sandwich within minutes of finishing it.
The view out the window of Honey Boo-Boo houses on one side, or cardboard condominiums and rotting sofa’s upside down for shelter on the other, has me saying a quick prayer to God that we don’t break down. I realize a lot of America is being left behind and ignored.
The sun finally comes up and I watch the poor Mexicans bent over in the fields, picking corn rows of chard and kale for one last paycheck of a whopping $25.00 for a week’s worth of back breaking work in the hot baking sun, and think about how they must be taking all the jobs from hard working Americans before they dare to be added to the welfare line for winter. How dare they do work we, Americans, would never once consider doing. We need to build a taller wall! (That was pure sarcasm in case you didn’t pick up on that!)
I strike up a conversation with a teenage boy who says, “This is nothing like in the movies!” Really? Does he honestly believe life is ever like it is in movies? We need to teach our children better than this, as I watch him dreaming of the cute girl 2 rows up: where’s the magic, he wonders?
I wonder too, until night has come again and I’m getting drunk in the bar car. This hot guy, at least 20 years younger than I am, slides in next to me in my booth and starts groping me. He obviously has a thing for wrinkles… from head to toe. Tells me he wants to rendezvous in the bathroom, right before I accidently spill my drink in his crotch. Damn, now I have to go buy another $10.00 watered down drink. But at least he sets sail for some other hot grandmother.
I end up sitting across from this crazy homeless looking dude, who keeps offering me his peanut butter sandwiches. I realize after 8 more hours, he’s totally cool, even if he is a bit smelly, so I keep to my side of the booth. He is homeless on purpose and is a traveling Minister for his church. He walked from Seattle to San Diego before and is planning on walking back this trip. He spends his time living in a tent and trying to help the homeless find God. We spend hours in the dining car, while he plays beautiful Christian songs on his guitar, which seems to be pretty common on train rides. We get to know each other, talk about everything from God to my adorable sandals, which I stupidly wore not realizing it would still be cold in California in December. Silly me, as my toes are now hypothermic; I thought I was going to hit the beach and catch a tan. I totally forgot I was not in Hawaii when I packed. Also forgot a blanket, a pillow and head phones for my laptop. Not to mention my swimmers nose plug! That would’ve come in handy!
My advice to you, use the same $500.00 you end up spending on the train and fly! Not only do you get back 30 hours of your life, but you might get a friendly pat down and probe from the NSA! All of which would be better than riding the Amtrak!