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Snagged by Thorns

thorns

 

like a voodoo doll, poking and stabbing

your friend one moment

your frenemy the next

the gossip shared behind another’s back

crushing, slicing through

with endless unknown effects

 

the Holiest mountain stands just out of reach

while you’re stuck below

snagged by thorns piercing everywhere

your mouth firmly rooted in jealousy

held in place by envious boulders

you never once noticed were there

 

beguiled into thinking you can climb

past the cruelty

past the unsympathetic crime

a devil of a feat to overcome

this shutting off of evil words

slaying your heart and soul for all time

 

where blackness is the least of magic

driving up from deep below

your mouth moving in a downward spell

the trick behind gossiping

is you thinking it’s harmless

raising the mountain above your own hell

 

Psalm 15 A Psalm of David.

LORD, who shall sojourn in Thy tabernacle? Who shall dwell upon Thy holy mountain?

He that hath no slander upon his tongue.

 

Technically, it’s the commandment stating, “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” but it seems to get less attention than, thou shalt not murder or thou shalt not lie. But Yeshuah said, all sins are equal.  Like I always say, joking, when someone lies straight to my face and I know it… “You know, you go to hell for lying, same as you do for stealing and murder.”  Just my little way of reminding people… all the commandments are equal!

All demanded by GOD!

Not just one or two….

HIS!

9

God loves me, this I know, very, very much,

I know by His constant forgiveness and His Grace filled touch,

He has never forsaken me, never left me behind,

Not once in my life, not in one moment I can find.

~~~~~~~

As I stood here, thinking about my life, I realized something about myself that I rarely admit to.

I am the greatest of sinners. I’ve gotten into the habit, each day as I head to work, of asking God to give me the strength to not gossip. You may say to yourself, oh, that’s not a big sin, but it is. It is just as bad as murder, rape, stealing or cheating. For each and every sin.. is just that, a sin. For it not only passes on bad feelings about someone else, and shows I know nothing about true love and forgiveness, but the hate for someone else increases. I am not only hurting this person, I am telling someone else to hurt them also. I am telling them this person should not be loved. I am giving them a reason to not value this person, to not trust this person, and to dislike them, not only for their own reason for this, but adding on mine.

I tell myself, I wouldn’t gossip if I wasn’t surrounded nonstop by people who do, which is true, but it is no excuse. I have no excuse that I can see for allowing myself to jump in and add to this gossip, which I do.

I tell myself I am pulled in by their unhappiness and hate, yet maybe only once a day do I manage to not join in bashing this person.

I tell myself it’s because I work, literally, in a den of thieves. In a place where greed runs rampant, and people are rude, selfish and worshiping money. But this is still no excuse.

I also tell myself, that God has given me this job, not only because I asked for it, but because it is the greatest test of my will and faith, that could have ever been placed before me. And I have failed miserably, almost every single day of work this past year.

I try to be honest with you all, and I realized as I gazed back at some of my recent posts, that I must sound like a true Christian to some of you, but that I truly need to let you all know… this is not the case.

I am a sinner. I am so far from perfect, I am shocked some days, by what comes out of my mouth. I may not kill, I may not lie, and I may not steal, but I clearly show I do not love like God wants me to.

I truly desire to be a true Christian, but as the saying goes, I am a work in progress. I am reaching for God, I am reaching for a goal that is almost insurmountable at times… yet I AM reaching. I AM trying. And I just felt the need today to let you all know… none of us is perfect. None of us even comes close. At least no one that I know personally. And I for one, am at the top of the list!!   But…

I am trying. I am aware of my faults. I am willing to change. But I stumble, often, daily, hourly even. Still… I try.

And once I stop trying.. I will have lost the battle.

So forgive me all, for trying to sound so good and righteous, when clearly I am not. But don’t think for a moment, that I am stopping my pursuit of God! He knows me like no one else, and He still loves me with all His heart. THIS I know! And He forgives me, each day, because He knows… I am trying.

So keep trying… no matter what your battle may be… do not give up. He can forgive you any sin!! And He will. Just don’t give up trying not to commit that sin!

God Bless you all!

Face of Darkness

I change into a different person each time I walk through those doors

the darkness envelopes me, drowning me in it’s black slimy feel

I pray and sing all the way there, trying to build up resistance

yet every time ****** I walk towards that pit ****** I slide deeper

the grease covered edges *** take away *** any higher clawing grip

unregretting voices grate on and on in vindictive unforgiveness

the stabbing is much like a butcher shop / with fresh meat

putting others down and stomping / on their self-esteem

ruining any chance of good ** growing into grandeur

yet it seems to be the only way they see to exist

daily negativity is how they’ve always done it

blinded by — their — own — disappointment — and — character

// they must drag me down to their low low level \\

snakes slithering in a pile — at the bottom of the pit

I won’t allow my soul to join that slow death

I’m so thankful God guides my life

and has stained glass windows

and is throwing them open

to the fresh spring air

Advice from a Crazy Cat Lady ~~~Part 1~~~ ……………lead us NOT into temptation….

….lead us not into temptation….

powerful words, in a powerful prayer
~

do you ever tempt others
~

do you ever ask your wife

just grab a box of paperclips from work

they won’t care

did you just damn both your souls

for stealing

do you ever say to a coworker

our boss is a bitch, or an ass

and the coworker responds without thinking

yes, they treat us like shit

did you just damn both your souls

for gossiping

do you ever say to your parents

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you

did you just damn your soul

for not honoring them

did you ever say to a child

you’re stupid, no one loves you

did you just damn your soul

for lying
~

words are powerful

blessings are powerful

choose wisely grasshopper

Dis Grace

Dis Grace

10-22-12

Beauty comes from way deep inside,

Loving others you have nothing to hide.

Lowering yourself causing others pain,

Seems extremely cruel for little gain.

Thinking before you injure another,

Lessons learned early from a good Mother.

Maybe she just didn’t bother,

Leaving it to a careless Father.

Both fail before the Light from above,

Compassion is truly greater than love.

Because love can be with out discernment,

but, compassion is always without judgement.

Teach your children to take the high road,

Wisdom and kindness are a very light load.

Those careless words drag you far below,

They carry that pain longer than you know.

Gossip

Gossip I fear takes the wind from my wings,

My greatest sin,

I can’t seem to stop and think.

My mouth has a mind of its own,

my brain rushes ahead spewing crap,

before I blink.

I write notes on my hand to remind me,

it’s one of the Ten,

I pray for forgiveness but don’t feel I deserve it.

I despise it in others,

and I know exactly why,

we all hate our own worst characteristics.

Anyone out there know how to change this,

how to stop from responding when others begin,

how not to join in?

Of all the commandments I truly try to follow,

barring my two failed marriages, (smirk)

this is my greatest failing, makes me sad within.

As I write this I pause once again, for a prayer,

Dear Lord, help this fool at your feet,

(peace comes into my heart in an instant, thank You again.)

Yet, I wish You would take my voice instead,

making me mute every time I start to sin,

love you My Messiah, My Holy Savior, Amen.