Reposting for a friend’s amusement!
Wanderlust of a Doodad
He hated being next to the cheese grater,
it scratched up the beautiful Saturn ring he wore,
so in anger one day he sliced cracks along his sides,
and rolled himself to the other side of the drawer.
The wine opener jumped back having a stroke,
and accidentally poked a hole in the spoon,
who whined terribly day and night,
with a dribble, she knew she was ruined.
The cheese grater scratched at his gashes,
he was no longer greater than a knife,
now he had huge tainted clefts,
how would he be able to find a wife?
The garlic press pulled out his camera,
pointed it at the grater and said, “say cheese.”
then posted it on eHarmony and YouTube,
searching for a lady the grater would please.
The dinner knives took a closer look,
along with a butcher knife and hatchet,
all agreed the grater looked sketchy now,
and said, “cruise the auto drawer for a ratchet.”
But the grater didn’t give up on love,
he widened his space in the crowded drawer,
scratching the shiny ice cream scoop, too,
knocking the chopsticks onto the floor.
The ice cream scooper stared coldly,
dragging over others as he moved in a crawl,
exciting the now happy cork screw,
with the hardness of his ball.
Sounding like a throbbing number,
the chopsticks were beating themselves midday,
just as a scraping noise was heard,
clearly, up a few drawers, that day.
Slowly but surely with a scrape, scrape, scrape, pull,
a voluptuous figure was heading their way,
buxom and black with a shiny new head,
snatching at the wood, she made her way.
She reached the drawer and stood up proud,
showing off her curved grippy handle,
while the strainer flipped upside down,
and the matches lit a birthday candle.
She was made for the big square grater,
even the pizza slicer did a wheeler,
the grater fell in love instantly on sight,
with the curvascious carrot peeler.