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Rubble

6

nesting in your soul

just beneath a cloudy day

right above a dried up creek

lies a motionless rubble strewn path

covered in weak branches

chipped at boulders

and burnt sage of all colors

waiting foolishly stubbornly

for a deluge

to save them

to meet their need

to relieve its loneliest limb

down to it’s deepest root

but the clouds won’t give

and the water walked away

the very same moment you did

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The Beginning

1

her knee peeked at her through an un-mendable hole

flannel two sizes too large billowing above three floors

of open space with six feet of ‘the willies’ to go

where the echoes of his laughter egged her on

here gripped the hand-me-down queen of clubs

completing the dare, it was always about the dare

the wall moved in a leaf killing wind

he picked his nose waiting in a silhouette

of sunshine streaming through the peak’s window

elbows shaking, her nails digging into ancient wood

giant “X’s” of two inch rotting death

for the hay pile below was almost as old

as the memories she would carry to her grave

of his hair glimmering as if he were an angel

about to throw his life away from four stories up

mastering an eleven year old flip

before landing in the decayed hay below

fluffy for about two inches, then dirt mostly

but she had to reach him first

or where was the fun in that

if she didn’t witness his feat inducing bragging

there would be no point, he’d wasted an hour

despite ending the day with a twisted ankle

or broken neck, they had no reference for that

she could never say no, for nine times out of ten

it was fun, he was fun, laughing his way through life

so of course, that day was the first time she ever flew

In This Being

4

 

Half of the time

rebels are lovely

you just have to catch them

at it, unawares, when

they’re not looking

for inevitably if they know

you’re watching

they behave differently

stand taller, form their thoughts

shake their bangs out of their eyes

swish their tail in a springy way

ultimately just a show pony

with long eyelashes

and a meaty hind end

but if you manage to sneak up

and see them meandering through

the tall grass, wind in their hair

a sunlit sparkle in their eye

you’ll see a moment of truth

an intensely felt flash of

perfect contentment

and there lies the soul

the root of this being

for you to see clearly

****

remember

THIS MOMENT… IN THIS BEING

when you need to forgive

forget or let betrayal go

for stubbornness comes

in many forms

from at least two angles

split by that fence

the long trampled grasses

at your feet

and the obstinate bees

mulish in their relentless pursuit

of each and every flower

ONE

1down

Can you imagine how the world would be changed… if we all thought “we are one”? If we all treated each other as if we were one single person?

There would be no hunger, no super rich, no homeless or poor… because we would simply treat each other as if we were them. We would instead think, THIS is enough. When is it enough? When do you have enough, you don’t feel you need more?

We would never have a reason to go to war, because who in their right mind starts a war with themselves? No one ever WANTS to kill themselves.

We would never destroy the earth in any way, we would FIND ways to travel from place to place, or to build things, without stripping and polluting our natural resources or killing animals for sport to make ourselves prettier or more virile. We wouldn’t need THINGS to fill our homes with that were useless and unneeded, because we wouldn’t need to impress ourselves.

There would be no such thing as a slave, which there is still, in this day and age. We feel so enlightened, and intelligent… yet in 2015 there are still SLAVES in our world.

There are still people who think it is ok to kill and murder over their beliefs, yet if we thought of each other as one, there would NEVER be a reason to kill yourself because you believe what you believe. There would be no suicide. No desperation, no loss and loneliness, for we would all be ONE.

I CAN IMAGINE IT! Can you?

I can imagine it right now, but only in what I imagine Heaven is like. That MUST be what Heaven is. We all become ONE!

I think I’ve said these things before, but I just felt the need to say them again. Maybe get the ball rolling. Maybe make just one of you stop and consider this… and begin to LIVE your life in this way. LIVE your life, don’t just make a living. Make a difference. BE THE SOURCE. BE ONE!

Maybe…. one day…  🙂

HIS!

9

God loves me, this I know, very, very much,

I know by His constant forgiveness and His Grace filled touch,

He has never forsaken me, never left me behind,

Not once in my life, not in one moment I can find.

~~~~~~~

As I stood here, thinking about my life, I realized something about myself that I rarely admit to.

I am the greatest of sinners. I’ve gotten into the habit, each day as I head to work, of asking God to give me the strength to not gossip. You may say to yourself, oh, that’s not a big sin, but it is. It is just as bad as murder, rape, stealing or cheating. For each and every sin.. is just that, a sin. For it not only passes on bad feelings about someone else, and shows I know nothing about true love and forgiveness, but the hate for someone else increases. I am not only hurting this person, I am telling someone else to hurt them also. I am telling them this person should not be loved. I am giving them a reason to not value this person, to not trust this person, and to dislike them, not only for their own reason for this, but adding on mine.

I tell myself, I wouldn’t gossip if I wasn’t surrounded nonstop by people who do, which is true, but it is no excuse. I have no excuse that I can see for allowing myself to jump in and add to this gossip, which I do.

I tell myself I am pulled in by their unhappiness and hate, yet maybe only once a day do I manage to not join in bashing this person.

I tell myself it’s because I work, literally, in a den of thieves. In a place where greed runs rampant, and people are rude, selfish and worshiping money. But this is still no excuse.

I also tell myself, that God has given me this job, not only because I asked for it, but because it is the greatest test of my will and faith, that could have ever been placed before me. And I have failed miserably, almost every single day of work this past year.

I try to be honest with you all, and I realized as I gazed back at some of my recent posts, that I must sound like a true Christian to some of you, but that I truly need to let you all know… this is not the case.

I am a sinner. I am so far from perfect, I am shocked some days, by what comes out of my mouth. I may not kill, I may not lie, and I may not steal, but I clearly show I do not love like God wants me to.

I truly desire to be a true Christian, but as the saying goes, I am a work in progress. I am reaching for God, I am reaching for a goal that is almost insurmountable at times… yet I AM reaching. I AM trying. And I just felt the need today to let you all know… none of us is perfect. None of us even comes close. At least no one that I know personally. And I for one, am at the top of the list!!   But…

I am trying. I am aware of my faults. I am willing to change. But I stumble, often, daily, hourly even. Still… I try.

And once I stop trying.. I will have lost the battle.

So forgive me all, for trying to sound so good and righteous, when clearly I am not. But don’t think for a moment, that I am stopping my pursuit of God! He knows me like no one else, and He still loves me with all His heart. THIS I know! And He forgives me, each day, because He knows… I am trying.

So keep trying… no matter what your battle may be… do not give up. He can forgive you any sin!! And He will. Just don’t give up trying not to commit that sin!

God Bless you all!

Out There

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a vast sky fades from blue to black

the emptiness seems to go on forever

even the cold shivers out there

space filled to the brim with nothing

but a star tossed here and there

a few rocks ricochet in chaos

and a tiny manmade machine floats

blindly towards and into the black

unknown unsure and unable

to reach the next star

a species leaves behind mass destruction

to search for another species

to what… destroy, visit with

get that all-consuming answer

to how it all began and why

why are we here

we desperately need to know

because we are not happy here

we can’t stop killing each other

we are killing our planet by the hour

yet we still search the vast heavens

hoping for what? WHAT?

what could we possibly learn

that would change our species

into one that loves, cares, gives,

shares, dreams, hopes,

believes in kindness, justice, truth…

for that is what we need

that is what we crave

that is why we are HERE

do you really think we can find any of that

out there?

Fearless!

I have this sword…

some days I swing like a girl

once in a while I slash like a superhero

and other times

I simply stick it in the ground.

This same sword can protect me

if I decide firmly to use it.

This sword can cut down my enemies

no matter how strong they may be.

It is so strong it makes me fearless.

And this sword… was made by the best.

This sword is my ‘will’

some days I go back and forth

once in a while I cut to the chase

and other times

I simply stick it straight in the dirt

standing my ground.

This sword was given to me

ten thousand years ago

when God gave me ‘choice.’

He handed me this sword

and said…

“Choose Wisely.”

~~~~~~~

“Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.”
Matthew 10:34