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The Window Frame

mountain 1

the window frame sagged

her finger trailed through dust

the floor rose up in a swirl as she passed

the ratty piece of carpet lying just here

and there

along with the memory of clattering dishes

burnt onions and a hunched vacuum cleaner

still plugged in

Perry Mason arguing a case

echoing behind naïve voices arguing a case

floating on the mites fleeing for cover

as the ancient desk filled the room

struggling to hold up

the rainbow of folders and fluttering notebooks

flying their way to the floor

one by one

some finding refuge on the paisley cushion

crushed into a canoe and now home to mice

becoming a new roof on a den

but the pen

chewed cap still in place

lay amongst her life

listing as her last thoughts lay beneath

… eyes blurring she blinked the words into focus

“YOU completed me… still, they suffered. Why…

didn’t You tell me?”

a sigh escaped as a rolled and worn sheet

leaped with hope

tapping once before finding rest

while its turbulence chases a fur ball

into fleeing for the sunshine

through the front door swinging wide

and following its own dream

of becoming a butterfly

~~~~~~~

for Jeannie XXOOO

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NaNoWriMo Time…

point b

National Novel Writing Month is here again….November; the month where us crazy writers get together to try and pound out 50,000 words towards a new novel in under 30 days. We meet all over the place to write together, in cafe’s, bar’s, hotel’s, doing silly shit to keep ourselves focused on writing. It’s fun, for writers. We also get to meet new authors, and hang with our buds.

So we’ll see how far I get this year.  I’ve written three novels this way, this year is my fourth, but I don’t have the advantage I had last year, which strangely enough I just happened to be at home sick with pneumonia for the first 10 days last year, and ended up writing around 70,000 words total.

This year I’m working on a story about a boy who heads off into the wild to escape his worthless parents, bullies at school, etc., thinking living on his own in the wilds of Canada will be better than what he’s dealt with for 12 years. This year, I am not centering my novel around God, like I did the first two years, but in this one I plan to have God be there, but I want the story to deal with honor instead. Honor, which seems to be missing completely from our children’s lives these days, and only seen in very rare instances. But I also see it vanishing with people my age, as I have witnessed so many people who climb over their coworkers, right up their backs… that they have previously stabbed, to get to the top of that ladder they think is so damn important. I’m really disgusted with that, and tend to be a total bitch when I see it happen.

I know most of you know I am a very outspoken person, but I rarely set out to completely shut someone up, really!!  lol  It isn’t something I do very often or plan on. But when someone comes up to you and starts bitching you out for something you have no control over, well, I’m not one to stand there apologizing like a carpet. I will start the sentence out, “I’m so sorry you had to deal with that…” and then continue on nicely but very sarcastically, “but really, do I look like I have any control over that? Do you really think bitching me out is going to get you anywhere?”  And lol, yes, that’s what I say! I’m the nicest person you will ever meet, and if you ask me for anything nicely I will go out of my way to help you. And everyone I work with knows this. BUT you come at me yelling, or even swearing, something I do all the time… NOT at work, and I will NOT allow you to continue on. I have a sailor’s mouth, and if I’m at work and someone comes at me swearing, the first thing out of my mouth is, “You can either stop swearing right now or there’s the door.” My boss has heard me reprimand a customer, and grinned at me afterwards. He’s great. He doesn’t allow anyone to talk to us like that, and in our field there are a lot of jerks out there.

I deal with a lot of cranky people, who will just vomit their shit on the first person they see, which is me a lot of the time. And even in that, I find there is little honor in people. They think that just because they are having a shit day, that they have a RIGHT to bitch out others, even when they have nothing to do with the reason this moron is screaming. That is having NO RESPECT for others. And this makes me so angry. They state ‘its freedom of speech’ but I think it’s more just being an asshole, and using that for an excuse. There is no honor in treating others like crap. There is no honor in disrespecting anyone!!!

And yet I see it nonstop, all day long, some days every other person. It’s just disgraceful. It’s not being kind, or even polite. And I’m talking disrespect for races, gender, sexual orientation, job description, place you live, people who drive red vehicles, versus purple or green mind you, it’s just fucking ridiculous!!! It’s a never ending crap fest out there folks… and… it makes me crazy…… aaaaaaaaaa.     

I don’t know… but is it just me, or are people getting ruder and ruder in public. It’s not just disrespecting others… it’s like we no longer have any honor! Honor in our daily work ethic, or honor in being proud to be kind, or a gentleman, or lady. I got nothing against the business types, cowboys, rockers, goth’s or hippies or bikers or truckers or jocks or whatever anyone wants to be…. but in ALL those styles, or groups, you can have honor in everything you do daily. No matter who you are or what you do with your life… you can do it with dignity and honor!

So once again… I’m sorry to admit, after not writing much at all this summer, I will be writing away on this story and probably won’t post much.

so SORRY, SORRY in advance…. but I will try to post a few things, in case one of you out there is actually reading my blog. lol

God Bless all of you, and try to remember NOT to do what I do, which is get myself in trouble daily with the Lord. You cannot imagine the number of times a day I need to ask for forgiveness!!!!!! LMAO  Have a great day all!

Deb 🙂

Second book is online NOW…. Long Before Time – The Moses Beings

Woot Woot, my second book is up and running!!!  (Don’t download the Kindle version yet, it looks messed up and I just informed them it’s not showing properly… so it  may be a day or so before it’s ready…)

 

Long Before Time cover

 

 

here’s the link… in case you’re interested!!  ONLY $11.92 right now!!

http://www.amazon.com/Long-Before-Time-Moses-Beings/dp/150098163X/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1409469066&sr=1-2&keywords=long+before+time

Affecting Lives

It’s strange how we idolize movie stars, actors and actresses. But sometimes one or two come along that play their part so well, you almost believe they are this way in real life.

I grew up watching The Waltons, a great family show series about a family struggling to survive in 1933 and carried on into the 40’s. As someone who came from a large family also, I identified easily with all the brothers and sisters, but mostly with two characters: The father, John, played by Ralph Waite and his son John-Boy, played by Richard Thomas, during the series. Various other actors played in the pilot, and there were several movies made after the series ended.

As a young girl who was raised by a stepfather who was hard working, yet completely cold and unaffectionate, I can remember dreaming of John as a father figure. And also as a young girl who lived through books, I identified strongly with John-Boy and his dreams of becoming a writer. Each night the show was on, all eight of us children would fan out on the floor in front of our ancient TV and watch the show intently, rarely commenting as this was not allowed until a commercial came on. My stepfather and mother would be in their favorite spots on the couch, one at each end, rarely exhibiting the kind of love and connections this family had and felt for each other.

It was a dream. No family I’ve have ever heard of cared as deeply for each other, or forgave each other so easily, working out their problems in a healthy loving way. Don’t get me wrong, there was much love in my family, mostly dished out from my mother, but also always shown through the struggles my stepfather displayed in keeping us all fed, clothed and keeping us on the right track in school and with a work ethic and dedication to taking care of his family, even if it was without tender emotion.

Still, the characters have stayed with me throughout my own life, and it struck me today with sadness as I watched the funeral for Ralph Waite, as portrayed on another TV show I love, NCIS. He had taken the role as Gibb’s father, and was once again a great father figure for a new generation. I remember hearing in the past at one time he was rated #3 of all the greatest loved father figures to ever be portrayed on TV. And it struck me hard, as I sadly realized he had finally passed away in real life. I had heard about it a few months ago, but at the time I was at work and it didn’t really register until today.

Of course Richard Thomas has become an icon also, in TV, Movies, theatre, and has directed numerous movies, but he also wrote 3 books of poetry. He is beyond talented, but I will never forget his first role in my world, the one I saw first, as him playing John-Boy. His dream, never ending, never wavering dream of becoming a writer was etched into my tender heart and mind throughout most of my childhood. Along with his father there backing him every step of the way, encouraging him, and teaching him what it meant to be a real man.

Of course I realize that both actors were blessed with great scripts, written by wonderfully well written authors, and I give them credit as well, as it was their great writing that made these men into great actors.

But we rarely get to see the authors, or get to know them as people. I did read the book Spencer’s Mountain, by Earl Hammer, as a young girl, and loved it, too, which I believe The Walton’s was based on.

I find it hard to believe Ralph is gone, and I truly feel like I’ve lost a dear friend, but mostly I wonder if he was a great man in life also, or just a really good actor. I wonder the same about Richard, and from what I’ve seen of him on talk shows he does seem to be a kind, good man for the most part. But I never saw Ralph in anything but shows, so I can’t say anything in regards to him.

But I do know this, if there were ever two greater actors, given two better scripts, I have not seen them. Or maybe I was just an impressionable young girl who needed an affectionate loving father and an older brother I could look up to, and strive to be like, since I had neither at home.

Thank you Ralph, you will be sorely missed. And thank you, too, Richard, for instilling a lifelong desire in me, to achieve my dreams as a writer.