One…by one

1

 

blue jeans faded

like the brightness

in her eyes

a star during the day

no longer shining

sitting beneath

a gnarly ancient tree

she decides

she’s a mirror of all

the rotten apples

falling slowly

one

by one

as the chill sets in

a green worm

climbs out

pausing only

to decide

which path to take

now

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19 thoughts on “One…by one

      • I’m still around, commenting. Just not going to be posting any stories. I have no idea what my blog will be about going forward, but I’ll think of something.

        • why are you abandoning us?? we absolutely LOVE your stories! You are truly my favorite writer, above many others I’ve read over the years….even F. Herbert and Asimov… because you write so purely in the moment… you amaze me sometimes how you NEVER ever write a boring sentence…each one is just full of emotion or description. the way writing is supposed to be. full of all five senses, not boring history, you transport the reader in a way poetry does, but better. I will truly be sad to never read another story by you, and the only way I will be able to forgive you leaving us, is if you are doing it to FINALLY get a novel out there!! I could understand that, but not you not posting anymore. You don’t seem to have much confidence in yourself.. which is just ridiculous, but it also keeps you a bit humble which is good… but really … stop that bullshit about thinking you are not a good writer!! You really are!!! You are making me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol SO you better be devoting your time to publishing, or I am gonna be so pissed off!!!!!!! I may truly have to come up there and smack the snot out of you!!!!! and I WILL!!!!! πŸ˜›

          • Shards, you honour me totally. You really touch me, know that? But it’s not a lack of confidence, it’s too bloody much of it. Novel is almost done, and I think it’s really really good. I have other stories to write but think it’s time I sent them to places that will publish them – I think it might force me to write at a higher level if I think of things like that. Not sure that makes sense.

            Anyway, you really made me feel great. I’ll be around. Reading your stuff, writing here and there for the blog. So don’t come up and smack the snot out of me! Just kidding, you can come up anytime (maybe not for the smacking bit).

            • oh awesome…SO glad you’re finally doing a novel! If you need a beta-reader, send it to me, and I would love to read it for you. You probably already have others doing that, but it’s always good to see a new view point. Who are you sending them out to?? I’m just curious, you don’t have to answer. either way, I’m just so glad you finally did it!!! I can’t wait to see it in paper!!! πŸ™‚

  1. Wow!!! Yeah! This was a good treat for my eyes. Wish I could ‘like’ it like 5 times.
    But, what I can do I have read it twice just for pleasure all over and copied and pasted it into my sticky notes. and I can do more with it from there. Each line… each choice of word… very carefully and artistically calculated and selected… most productive for the economical investment of few words. Oh Shardy!!!

      • I had to read through one more time tonight as I responded to your reply.

        It still is rich… Almost richer than the first time I read it. You know I don’t talk this way about all your pieces. This is the kind of piece an artist makes and even though he makes a hundred after, he still feels that piece was it!
        Everything about the piece is just right. Everything that should be considered when reading a written work of art. Wow! *sigh deeply*

        • like I said, you are way too kind. It was a simple piece, kind of pondering life is all… with a touch of hope for a new beginning at the end. Still, thank you so much Doc!!! πŸ™‚

          • Hmm! I see. Interesting intentions considering how the piece turned out. But then, it could just be my interpretation based on what I wanted the piece to be about -a sizzling mix of the dreams, reality and cynicism in the pot of memories and musings.
            Warmly welcome, Shardy.

      • Now the only thing left is for these words to be immortalized in a song or read to the tune of a musical instrument so I can play it when walking on the road…. Till I get tired of it. But tonight is not that night when I get tired of this piece.

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