sammamish and si 038


its a nag at the back of the brain

almost an itch pushing you

to the edge

an idea turning over

a leaf in a flittie wind

if he said it, himself

can you ignore it

while it drives you slowly

ever so slowly mad

circling around in a pit

of ocean raging beneath

a hurricane of incessant thought

that idea that never stops

popping up

at the strangest moments

as a slightly off stranger

catches your eye

makes you smile

at a sweet memory

then wham, there it is

or that flash of light that

tints the sky a shade

you’ve never quite seen

in a sunset, it’s there

throwing a dirty sock

into the washer

and then you start to think

good god how did that ick

get there, but it pops in again

he said it himself

and you scream inside

as you hear it

a thousand thousand times

stop thinking about it

the screaming reverberating

off the walls of your brain

shaking your skull until its loose

the matter sloshing around

then wham, there it is

he said

Love thy Lord God

with all you heart and soul

which leaves nothing for him

for to love with ALL

you must love with ALL…


thy Lord God


15 thoughts on “Incessant

    • love me some ick too Doc!!! 🙂 Yea, the leaving nothing for him is the part I have the trouble with, have been worrying about it for some time, that maybe we shouldn’t be worshiping Yeshuah so much, and ONLY be worshiping YHVY!!! Even Yeshuah said it, to worship God, not him, so I’m feeling conflicted at the moment….in my worship of Yeshuah….. what say you????

      • Leaving all…. Ain’t that what should be? Hmmm!

        Hahaha! I’d say what happened those times was for that temporary period when Yeshuah was for a little time made lower… Thereafter, till this day, he is in full status as deity. Something that cannot just be bestowed on anyone. I think the realization of this truth is key; and so long one acknowledges this truth, in my humble opinion, I don’t think the Father will fret if people mention Yeshuah’s name more often than His. I do not think there’s a competition amongst them. And I also don’t think the Father is displeased when anyone looks at Yeshuah whom the Father himself acknowledges as deity; neither is Yeshuah displeased if any mentions the Father’s name or the Spirit’s/Paraclete’s name more often.

        • Its strange Doc, I’ve loved Yeshuah, Jesus, my whole life, but for some strange reason I keep coming back to the simple fact that he was a man, even though he said he was the Son, we are not living in his time and can’t be sure of what he said, we were not there. I have serious issues with the way the old priests changed the scriptures around to achieve what they wanted, rewrote them, etc., and it concerns me that we have placed Jesus as God… we tend to worship him as God, and even though he said he was one and the same, he was still a man….so now as I get older I am questioning that, and the later scriptures. I KNOW he was the messiah, a savior sent to us, but I worry that we are worshiping him ABOVE GOD, which God clearly says HE IS FIRST!!!! Even Jesus said to worship God FIRST, above ALL others, so I kind of worry for my soul that maybe the way we were taught to worship is not right. What do you think, when you read the old testiments?? Should we be praying to Jesus, or only to God???

          • If we are looking at the whole Script, I can’t confidently say how much of His deity the Old testament emphasizes. But the new testament does that.
            As for the things he said, remember when on earth, he was also man and for that moment made lower than Elohim. So I wouldn’t be shocked at those statements referring worship to only the Father. But so many other places mention his deity.
            Now, if we are concerned that all those places were false, then we might as well be concerned that the whole book is just corrupted and as such you should not even its core truths.
            Now, if that is the case and we are back to that old discussion about the validity of the Book (that has been the fancy of humans for quite a while now), then that’s another discussion entirely to be addressed in another manner.

                • sometimes I think the old testament is more true to itself. As most people know, the works of Matthew Mark Luke and John were so similar, almost identical, that a lot of historians believe they were all written by John, or maybe Paul. Can’t remember which one right now, but there has been a lot of debate about it, in historical circles. SO I tend to believe the old testament more, because it is almost identical to the Torah, and wasn’t altered by the catholic priests like the new testament was, repeatedly. There are actual documents from those priests stating they changed words, changed the meaning of some things, to reflect their beliefs and what they wanted others to believe. Sooo, if you know of any scriptures in the OT that speak of Yeshuah being a deity, I would love to know what they are. I have a friend who has memorized much of the OT but she says it only references that a messiah will come…. and will change the covenant. I need to read that one, but can’t remember what scripture she said it was… 🙂

                • There will always be talk in these ages of how much alterations have happened, and there’s no better time to question historical events that in the future where/when it might be harder to get credible witnesses. This is that future where it’d be harder believing something that happened several centuries ago. The question is: are those claims true? And what would make you believe those claims over the claims that nothing about Yeshuah’s deity was fabricated? Why chose the first over the latter?
                  So, some of the books resemble. shouldn’t that lend more validity to them, further bearing in mind they were not exact copies of each other? So this has now come to mean they were written by same person and are a hoax? Like I said, claims will abound. Why believe one over the other? Autobiographies are written every time. What’s with the need to raise all sorts of questions even when the bases for these claims were just well-thought-up conjectures?

                • that’s funny, what you said about why believe one over the other….my girlfriend said almost the same thing. although she says, she believes in Christ because he said to LOVE GOD first, but in the same breath (almost) he also said “I was here before time began” just like he was God. This is where I have the most trouble Doc, because Yeshuah always said to Love God first, follow his commandments, but then later said things that led them to believe he was God. I’ve read a few stories about how modern acult leaders start out like this, then as time goes on they lead others to believe they are their God, etc., and parts of me worry that Yeshuah was a profit, who got caught up in his own righteousness. God Forgive me for saying that out loud, but some days I wonder… and think … and wonder….and truly wish GOD would answer my prayers when I ask for the truth. I’ve been struggling with this for some time now, and all I can know for sure is we are to LOVE GOD FIRST above ALL others….which would include Yeshuah. SOooo…. I’ve started to change the way I pray, to God alone, and I hope and pray I’m not hurting Yeshuah, or dishonoring him in any way. I truly think he did come, and give his life for us, BUT when he said “No on goes to the Father accept through me”, that is the one line that hurts me inside. I worry that he was the Son, THE son, and I worry mostly for my soul, praying I will go to heaven, no matter who I pray more to, God or his son. but that one line drives me crazy!!! well, crazier than I already am…. 🙂

                • One of the things I can say now is that: it seems you are trying to believe to the same degree everything contradictory you are reading.
                  I think you need to realize that it is easy to reason out things this way or that. For instance, if the Father himself came down and called himself God, one might as well call him a cultist or one possessed or a narcissistic sorcerer. Despite what acts of love and divinity Christ did, some still analysed him as possibly demonic or blasphemous.
                  Above all, the main issue here it seems, is that you do not even agree with the Scripts and so it would do little good using words out of there.
                  But remember what I said earlier: you may as well throw away the whole Bible because some people believe the whole thing to be a big joke, another ploy to lead the masses with the opium of religion. So, are you gonna believe this claim too and just throw it all away?

                  But if you do really want, you can examine both sides. You seem to have had a healthy dose of the arguments against. Now examine the arguments for. Those are also available online.

                • no, I wouldn’t throw out the bible, like I said before, I’ve read the Dead Sea Scrolls too, and I really think the bible was created from those same scriptures…its just that over 2000 years things have been changed. that’s what bothers me. So I tend to believe the older of the two, the DDS and I also believe the Old Testament, because it is almost identical to the Torah. and it’s not that I don’t believe in Yeshuah, I do completely, what I question is are we to worship him, as God. Or are we to ONLY worship God, as Yeshuah said to also….?? That is where I have the problem, where I would LOVE dearly for God to answer me..personally…lol so I can stop thinking about it all the time!!!! 🙂

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