there was something in the water…


It was a hard long birth,

but his mamma was a ho

so she managed to finally spit him out

although it destroyed her cow toe.

He continually walked in circles and

ran into fences, cows and trees

but you could never sneak up on him

he could see through his dangling wallies.

The other calves would skip and play

and made fun of him each day

rarely letting him play in cow games

thinking ahead, they’d be veal someday.

There was dead cow in their food and

something in the water, the farmer said

right after another calf was born

to the right of her stomach was her head.

So as she grew only a year behind him

they slowly fell forever in love

bonding as they took turns leading

they fit together like a glove.

He heard the farmer say one time

he’d never be able to sell them to anyone

which guaranteed them a long long life

and his lady would soon carry his son.

It seemed like a really hard life

having to lie down all day to eat the grass

but he knew it would be udder perfection

if he could only lick his own ass.


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