It was a hard long birth,
but his mamma was a ho
so she managed to finally spit him out
although it destroyed her cow toe.
He continually walked in circles and
ran into fences, cows and trees
but you could never sneak up on him
he could see through his dangling wallies.
The other calves would skip and play
and made fun of him each day
rarely letting him play in cow games
thinking ahead, they’d be veal someday.
There was dead cow in their food and
something in the water, the farmer said
right after another calf was born
to the right of her stomach was her head.
So as she grew only a year behind him
they slowly fell forever in love
bonding as they took turns leading
they fit together like a glove.
He heard the farmer say one time
he’d never be able to sell them to anyone
which guaranteed them a long long life
and his lady would soon carry his son.
It seemed like a really hard life
having to lie down all day to eat the grass
but he knew it would be udder perfection
if he could only lick his own ass.