Sometimes I Wonder…..

Sometimes I wonder, why people decide to live their lives in such a way as to make a point to do it alone? 

I wonder why they don’t believe me when I say, “Peace fills me most days, and when it doesn’t I’m filled with happiness.”  Rarely do I have sad days, or even moments, because when I realize I’m sinking, I reach for God.  And I would honestly say, 99% of the time I feel lifted within moments.  I feel a physical blanket encircling me; and at the same time, my breathing slows, my heart-rate slows, and a calm washes through me.  Not to mention my brain slows, which is almost impossible for me to do alone.  My brain is labeled ADHD for a reason.  I fit the profile.  But when I have fears and doubts, I pray sincerely, and they fade. 

So I wonder often why people fight it so much, when they hear how it effects those who do trust in God? 

I wonder why they would choose to miss out on such a wonderful way of life? 

I often wonder if it is only a deep rebellion to how their parents tried to raise them in a religion they didn’t believe in or feel accepted in, or whatever.

They say they are happy in life, and I wonder sometimes if they truly are?  Deeply happy with their life, or if maybe they feel just a hint of what they are missing.  They have made a choice not to believe in God, and I respect that.  God gave us all the right to choose, when He created evil to balance out the good.  I don’t think it’s stated like that anywhere in scripture, but it makes perfect sense to me.  How could we possibly have the freedom we crave, if He didn’t create both sides to give us choice.

I wonder how they can look up at the sky at night and not know a being much greater and hella smarter than us created what we see?  Especially since 80% of all scientists on the planet believe in God, or a single Creator, according to some poll.  lol

I wonder if they understand that the scientists stated it was not due to religious upbringings, but do to the unexplainable data in the sciences they have studied their entire lives.

And I wonder with all that proof, or non proof I should say, added to all the ancient scriptures passed down through time AND add all that to the actual wonderful lives those of us who do believe do lead….why on Earth do they not try it?  People say all the time, “try everything at least once, you only live once.”

I wonder if any of them have taken this stance purely due to the status they give themselves, as being the only humans who are too smart to believe in something they can’t see.  Or the line I’ve heard many times, “I don’t believe in Santa Claus either!”  Of course, St. Nicolas was a real person, and the story is based on history, but they tend to forget that.

And I wonder if they lie awake at night, their minds swirling anxiously over the bills, medical problems or if they’ll have a place to live tomorrow?  Because that is how I used to live.  And it was horrible…sad…lonely…fearful…depressed…

I wonder how many more synonyms I could come up with to describe the opposite of how I feel each day.  No matter what horrors I have to deal with daily concerning my youngest son, or what joy comes my way from my eldest son, or the majesty I see daily in nature, I feel loved, better, at peace and content with my life EVERY single time I turn to God… Every Single Day, all day long sometimes, and every time I feel Him there.  Every time!

Jus sayin’ … sometimes I wonder….


4 thoughts on “Sometimes I Wonder…..

  1. Deb all I want to say before I get in to sleepy time..that this is absolutly wonderful, incredible and turning to God is the only way. Somedays I for get that..but I try hard not to…
    re-blog ..because of your beautiful talent and this beautiful writing..
    heres a love me comment, ask and you shall receive.

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