The Vastness


One tiny soldier

a vastness reaching

beyond his view

following a pre-laid path

orders from a complete unknown

finds his way isn’t singular

he is not special

many come before him

and after

but does that make it

a worn path or plan?

A depleted source?

In all the unknowns

he can’t imagine

the vastness continues

to create and destroy;

so what leads him

to take that step?

Follow that canal?

Trudging on and on?

Is it because

he is not aware

of the possibilities

beyond his own vision

of reality

or is it that following

orders vastly reduces

a singular evolution?

Monday Meter

Originally posted on Tommia's Tablet:

El Ceilo - Grand Central Station 2015 El Ceilo – Grand Central Station 2015

To see the sky from God’s point of view
Reverses the stars’ order you once knew
Above, you see infinity
Impossible is possible, probably.
No end in sight in that glorious night.

View original

On the Edge


On the Edge

poised for the moment
on the edge of humanity
a tiptoe through a kind moral
a fall from the depth of disgrace
turning to lucidly look back
lost in a syrup of decay
the deepest beauty too far
to fly to on wings of despair
destruction etched in the brim
aching to arch away freely
spiraling inward visibly
untwisted to the untrained eye
drawn to folding on the fringe
a society of unkind amity
mercy a mild sufferance
blinded by colors of greed
a sorrowful stock of flesh
in a race to outrun transience
rivaling an ephemeral
waste of the dawn

Diving In


diving in

head first

heart splayed wide

as the eldest petals

of a scented bloom

giving generously

risk forgotten

never expecting


in return

creates an abundant

echo of esteem

akin to sunshine

as a gentle kiss

of unselfish peace

touched with the tiniest

hint of glory

bursts ultimately

into the birth

of true love



I felt Your presence today

it was beyond glorious

my excitement rose

to the same height

as I did

but peace flooded in

as I sailed across the sky

and I knew You

were the wind

beneath my wing

I can’t thank You enough

there are no words

but the smile

from ear to ear

I’m sure

made it perfectly clear

Thank You God

for this amazing gift!



walking in a straight line

on a path that curves and rises

balancing life to avoid





into the unknown

at the very end

or a beginning you fear

just around the corner

doesn’t mean you can’t

walk a tight rope

or trip yourself up

or fly through life

with elegance

or bumbling tumbles

it only means

you are traveling

on a journey

into the unknown

remembering your past

forgetting your future

just be


in every moment








life among the dead

blossoms for an instant

as each moment is led

into a glowing radiant

fading into stillness

falling at a slant

revealing that each life

is only briefly brilliant

The Promise of Rain


into each heart

tears will fall

creating a meadow

maybe a lake

cleansing a soul

wavering the unsure

drowning the dubious

who follow a shady path

down into a dry hollow

but after the storm

bringing new life

creating growth

changing a desert

of shallow desires

into a field of budding hope

with the promise

of a beautiful new view

Opening Innocently



the depth of pure white

the ghost of a love

wild with curiosity

allured by the light

attaining the striking beauty

of the rare honesty

in a radiant soul

pales into a blush

as it believes in truth

opening innocently

only to the Son

Hey God, can you hear me now?


I must say, I’ve neglected my writing for two months now… because I am getting ready to SOLO for the first time… just like the guy in this picture. I haven’t had time to do anything, because our weather has been just glorious, if not a bit gusty, but perfect for learning to paraglide on most days.

So I wanted to say, sorry all, but my site and the poetry and any novel work has been pretty much ignored…. because I have always dreamed of flying and now my dream is about to come true.

My instructor, who is my good friend also, is a 5th level pilot instructor and we have flown together so many times, he tells people I’m his “frequent flier” and I actually get frequent flier miles discounts! He saved my life one time when a beginner pilot almost hit us, so I trust him with my life.

But for the last two months he had me training on a racing wing, because of all his students this year, he thought I would be the one most able to learn to fly it, mostly because when we fly together he lets me take the controls and play around in the sky.  He only had so many wings to loan out to the other students. So grumbling and complaining that he was trying to kill me, I learned to fly his racing wing, while everyone else used the beginner wings, which are designed differently. He assumed after I mastered his racing wing, all other wings would be so easy I would be able to fly anything… and well, that was not the case.

I honed my skills on this racing wing, to the point where I could kite it, which is what we call flying them on flat ground, without using my hands. It was great, I could get it launched in the air, and then direct it with just my body, not needing the breaking lines in any way.

And then…. he broke the news to me that I would not be allowed to use the racing wing for my first solo flight, because legally he could lose his license if I did, because legally I must use a beginner wing as a first time pilot.

Bamm! He set me up with a nice new beginner wing, and I must tell you, it’s like starting over. They are designed so differently, I am back to square one, and the dream of soloing just got pushed back about two more weeks, I think. I don’t feel confident enough right now to run off a mountain with this new wing, when I can just barely get it launched properly.

Back to ground work I go… and he still thinks it will be easy as pie for me, once I get used to the differences, but I must say, I lost it completely the other day when a huge gusty wind hit it, folded it over, then blew it around me so quickly, the lines actually almost strangled me. The wind kept wrapping me up in it, until the lines drew tighter and tighter, and two of them wrapped around my neck. It not only scared the piss out of me, but it pissed me off like nothing else has in quite some time. If I had had a knife on me that day, which we are supposed to have on us during flight, I think in my anger I just might have cut that damn wing up like a Thanksgiving turkey! I was that pissed. And I would have owed my friend about $5000!!  Thank God, I did not have a knife that day.

But… I am determined to master it, even if it is slow and stupid and seems to have a poltergeist! My other wing was referred to as the Red Bull, because it had Red Bull racing stickers on it, but this new wing has a new nickname, it is The Poltergeist! lol

I’ve even thought about baptizing it with holy water, just in case!! But I don’t have any holy water, so I guess we’ll just say a huge prayer before I solo with it!

Anyway, I just thought I would let you all know, hopefully in two weeks at the most, I will solo, fly like an eagle through the sky…. it is probably the greatest thing I have ever come across in my life… and I recommend it highly! Then maybe I will get back to some sort of normal and start writing again. My poetry has lacked to the point even I see most of what I’ve posted is crap. My second novel will soon be remade, because I might have the time to work on it again, and it got destroyed when the hacker killed my computer last winter, which means I have to resubmit it again, after rewriting it, and the cover will be done differently. The picture was so blurry and messed up, I apologize to any of you who purchased it, you couldn’t read the back of it and it looked awful. So I’ve been slowly creating a new one. My third novel, which is supposed to be a comedy – murder novel, is done for the most part, but still just waiting for me to get around to finishing it, too.

I am still looking for a good artist to draw the cover picture for it, so if any of you would like to do it, feel free to contact me. I’m hoping to get a good drawing of a crazy looking older woman riding a horse wildly through town while ripping her coat or shirt off…. lol… because this is what the story is about. So if any of you would like to draw that for me… I can’t pay much, but your artwork would be out there in the world, and of course you would get complete credit for it, so please contact me if you’re interested. And hopefully in a month or so, I will get back to writing here and leave you all with some much better poems to ponder to boot. 

Have a great day all, and may God Bless You and Yours! Since we have a low pressure system right now, with rain in the forecast, I will try to write something good today… I will try, anyway, and once again hope God will give me the words!

And yes… every single time I fly, touching the edge of the horizon of the sky, I scream to God… Can you hear me now!!!  LMAO   I’m pretty sure He has!  :)


Shards Of DuBois:

a great poem!! :)

Originally posted on Poesy plus Polemics:

Artwork by Michael Divine

like a box in a box in a box

hides the continent kernel of self

the embarrassing essence

of genuine judgments

perceptions uniquely obtained

from the shape of the world

by the lights of legitimate eyes

purely personal inklings of when

how and why did we come to exist

all the deeply internal eccentric

held thoughts and ideas never

shared never given communion

from fear of rejection or worse

fear of falling ignored through

fat cracks of ambivalence

confidence comes from acceptance

acceptance from joining the throng

fully naked of all but one’s honesty

honesty tendered with bravery

bravery being the purview of heroes

and heroes don’t hide their own hearts

like a box in a box in a box

View original



Can you imagine how the world would be changed… if we all thought “we are one”? If we all treated each other as if we were one single person?

There would be no hunger, no super rich, no homeless or poor… because we would simply treat each other as if we were them. We would instead think, THIS is enough. When is it enough? When do you have enough, you don’t feel you need more?

We would never have a reason to go to war, because who in their right mind starts a war with themselves? No one ever WANTS to kill themselves.

We would never destroy the earth in any way, we would FIND ways to travel from place to place, or to build things, without stripping and polluting our natural resources or killing animals for sport to make ourselves prettier or more virile. We wouldn’t need THINGS to fill our homes with that were useless and unneeded, because we wouldn’t need to impress ourselves.

There would be no such thing as a slave, which there is still, in this day and age. We feel so enlightened, and intelligent… yet in 2015 there are still SLAVES in our world.

There are still people who think it is ok to kill and murder over their beliefs, yet if we thought of each other as one, there would NEVER be a reason to kill yourself because you believe what you believe. There would be no suicide. No desperation, no loss and loneliness, for we would all be ONE.


I can imagine it right now, but only in what I imagine Heaven is like. That MUST be what Heaven is. We all become ONE!

I think I’ve said these things before, but I just felt the need to say them again. Maybe get the ball rolling. Maybe make just one of you stop and consider this… and begin to LIVE your life in this way. LIVE your life, don’t just make a living. Make a difference. BE THE SOURCE. BE ONE!

Maybe…. one day…  :)

We ARE… what we LOVE

1 heart

In all the universes

through all eternity

only God is pure love

for He and He alone

loves all

He alone loves all

of His neighbors

never once

loving Himself first

He is pure love

emitting seeds of love

a bleeding heart

full of love


give love

become love

like God




what you love

Harmony is Perfection


a harmony of elements

creates perfection

all different all unique

coming together

creating beauty

a multitude of difference


a harmony of resonance

for a single sound

doesn’t rise or fall

there is no melody

in just a single chord

or a single element

or a simple tone

or a single human

or a simple mind

just a little update….

I can’t thank you enough, all those who prayed yesterday! Believe it or not…. Douglas actually called me out of the blue last night, at around midnight!! I hadn’t heard from him in months… so I am eternally grateful for all of you who prayed.  He hasn’t stopped doing drugs yet, but he’s alive, which lets my heart rest a bit in peace!!! May Peace be with you all as well!! And God Bless every one of you who have kindness and hope in your hearts… that one day he will be saved!!!

Tribute to suicide victims – YouTube

Shards Of DuBois:

please watch this…. very powerful!!!

Originally posted on Da UGLY Ducklin:

View original

Please PRAY!

You can probably tell from my postings, I’m a little down today. And even though I have begged God to take care of my son, and Yeshuah has His greatest Archangel Michael protecting his life…

I am asking that you all, all 900 of you, say a prayer for my son Douglas. He truly needs every single prayer you can offer up. It’s been ten years now… ten years of watching my son slowly kill himself. There is no other way out of the darkness, other than with the Lord’s help!

I’ve been poised on the edge of hell for so long now, I can’t see a way out of the darkness anymore. It will take GOD to bring him back to me. Only God!

As some of you already know, I’m at the point of waiting for that horrifying phone call. We’ve tried repeatedly to get him help, but the evilness that has him in an iron grip, just won’t let go.

I thank you in advance, all of you who will pray.

And in return I pray none of you ever have to lose a child like this… cruelly, slowly, oh so painfully.

With tears streaming down my face, I beg of you… please PRAY!

Right now, with all your heart, please, please pray!

Thank you, with all my heart!

Drape Him in Angels

for tanya2

the love of a child is the greatest love of all

second only to the love I feel for The Lord

it has the ability to break my aching heart

into pieces of pain sliced up with a sword

yet life moves on in the severed silence

bringing me closer and closer towards hell

as moment by moment he slips further away

I’m watching his soul become a lifeless shell

forgive me Lord for despising the enemy

who gives him heroine and meth every day

for I know I may lose my very own soul

as I hate and I hate the evil blind way

they steal his life and chance at hope

as my heart screams out it’s so unfair

a century now he’s been lost and alone

years lost in darkness and blatant despair

yet I know You are watching him far below

holding out Your hand in a gesture of amore

but he’s still drowning in this evil and sorrow

please drape him in Angels to fight this war

With the Rain


I thank Almighty God

for the fierce rain

often steeped in darkness

reminiscent of Cain

ripped apart in a storm

creating a bloodstain

heaving over mountains

revealing Heaven in pain

blessing the terrain

meant to sustain

keening wildly down

God’s Holy face

veiled with tearstain

seeing His children slain

souls greedy and vain

covered in an unholy stain

bound by a selfish chain

eternally descending

with the rain

A Twig of Peace

dove with twig

like a Dove

He descended from above

filled with grace and words of love

building hope below

a twig of peace to sow

His life and death to foreshadow

a coronation

a prophecy of revelation

taught to a sinful prideful nation

of disbelief

fostered in grief

torn apart with no hope of relief

to be betrayed

by His words waylaid

and twisted into a sinful crusade

to be hung

from the highest rung

of Jacob’s ladder by an evil tongue

yet His atonement

fulfilled a commandment

to save us all from eternal torment

was like a Dove

filled completely with love

He’s still longing for you to join Him above

not in a tree

or in the blue sky you see

but squarely and forever upon His knee

The Darkness You Anoint

cacti with eyes 2

Lost in a dry desolate life

void of the gentle touch of kindness

tortured by thorns turned inward,

those you may see or not.

Tossed aside for its deeds

and ignorant actions

when you could teach love

instead of disdain

and shame and pain.

For it is you who cast them

into dust and hopelessness

suffering hate, failure and loss

greater than a broken heart

greater than a wounded soul

as they are forgotten and rejected

by all who pass by.

Stepping aside quickly

to avoid apathy and guilt

until these thorns you see pointing

a straight path to love

have grown weary and fall

into the darkness you anoint…

For each soul etched with rain

forms more thorns strengthened

with each drop of pain.


cacti two tall ones

as a fever settles the wind

a keen rises from stone

a shade deeper than dried blood

its time withered and prone

its dust taught to flee

across a shimmering sky

dancing with a warm breeze

clinging to rocks spired high

naive gusts pulling apart veins

spreading an ancient ore

baked cracked and empty rains

cast upon a dry shore




floating away in a sea of clouds

of an age beyond innocent fury

watching the bonds blown apart

from above the will of a squall

the marriage of a lifetime looms

the accomplished rooted in a gale

the flurry fills a graceless culture

while I float away just a balloon

not even a permanent mist

slightly just out of reach

pausing when others run

pushed about in a storm

of my own gusty perceptions

watching them growing smaller

as I continue to travel on

leaving behind nothing humble

slowly becoming a bloated zealot

but then dubiously I burst

a wondrous splay of color

playing amongst the gray

dense edge of emptiness

Unaltered Pic of the Day ~ God’s Painting!


absolute stunning perfection

a presence only Almighty God could imagine

our brains too tiny to weave the edge of a petal

or ring a bell just as the sun rises

but this Tulip He Created

is pure innocence brushed with righteousness

pushed to the front of His stage

by the fresh spring of green

the brilliant Glory He Is


Painting by Hand of God

(I only took a picture of it)


red maple 2



we celebrate

the day it started

with palms and fronds

piled at His feet

reaching up so far

as to blind the people

gloating in alleys

planning to hurt

blades rising up

stalking His Grace

craving His Glory

green with a sickness

soon to be passed over

in a perfect crimson

reeds bloodied by burden

shimmering beyond on high

the Light of a Savior

given the shaft







dripping down the pane

feels cold somehow

rehearsed pain

blurring the tree bows

beards stretched to straggly

a streak of bleak

posing in front of pale

gray the star today

a silent drip slicker

leaving shadows nothing to say

a trillion pause to bicker

only speaking as a spatter

numbed listlessly

duped into matter



as shadows play across a quiet scene

a raging river rushes by unseen

rippling down the rocks of a crowded bed

I wonder why satan has immersed and led

us down this path strewn with his lies

diluting and surging he forever tries

to blind us from truth and Heavenly hope

like water racing down a cascading slope

slippery and slimy and covered in moss

our journey turns into sadness and loss

the greatest deceit found under fame

of Yeshuah’s dishonor just in His name

for when the river began to carve the sod

His name meant simply The Salvation of God

still the stream churned and danced across

miles of boulders until it came to a cross

where it washed even Him with pure salvation

drowning all evil and saving a lost nation

to this day we dishonor His amazing grace

submerging our world in entrenched disgrace

channeling his name into a soiled form

and speaking it daily making it the norm

like my tears washing over cheek and bone

I can almost hear Yeshuah’s swelling moan



pulling the clouds down to make mountains

a swirl here, a puff there

the dark ridge to the left mimicking an earlier creation

of a mountain ridge covered in snowpack

but they’re just clouds

clouds making my heart flutter

hanging low just above the rise of earth

as darkness and light decide who’s in charge

their gentle battle rarely causing harm

yet creating a pastel of unbelief

shimmering, hanging in the balance

by the greatest hand to ever wave across the sky

to show us

what Heaven must truly be like

ah… but the Glory of a Sunrise…


Ah… but the Glory of a Sunrise saying “Let there be light!”

I often wonder does God give us sunrises just because He loves us?

I can’t imagine any other reason for them being so utterly beautiful.

So blindingly incredible!

Does He just want to remind us that He is here, or He is just waking up?

Does He want us to see the Glory and stop for a moment and say “good morning”?

Or is He just showing off His amazing talent? Talent I’ve never found anywhere else.

Talent by us, who have never ever even come close.

The beauty takes my breath away as I stand there in awe… and finally after I

frantically get my camera out, take multiple shots, hoping to catch the best shot…

I inhale the Glory slowly… and say…

“Good Morning God, and a beautiful day to you, too!”

Daring the Air to Weep


the earth felt it deep in the vibrating stone

with each crash echoing as thunder cracked the sky

rolling darkness swirled into being

while the son fought to gain entry

heat rose fuelling the clouds daring the air to weep

as the pure beacon of light broke free it streaked across Heaven

scorching the mountain

and became Him

exploding in a glorious burst

for it had found the reason it existed

An Afternoon Stroll


taking a stroll along the riverside

heading up stream because the bank swells up there

fewer boulders to stub their toes on

more sunlight around that curve they’ll happily share

they inch their way so slowly

even the deer and elk didn’t notice right away

never making a run for it

having all the time in the world they bend to say

snagging along dragging into eons

their roots opposing this high speed dashing

barking knees creak and groan

breaking records only in the quarter mile passing

not only pines and evergreens

squirrel stashes and underground bunny holes too

but leaving behind painful peckers

a rocky past and the downtrodden touristy view

Happy Birthday Son!

You’re 25 today, and I remember your birth like it was yesterday. Rushed to the hospital at 90 mph, the sheer terror at the thought of losing you. Then it quickly became a long drawn out terror, but with God helping it became a little less each hour, each day, until finally at 4 lbs, you got to come home. Then the real hell began, filled almost equally with pure adoring love. You had to be fed every hour on the hour for a year and a half, before your stomach grew large enough to eat enough you weren’t starving to death. All that resulted in a mother who lost her mind. Who seriously went from a normal person, to someone who was suffering from sleep deprivation and running literally on auto pilot. My auto pilot was God. I might not have known it at the time, but I know it now. He had to have been watching over us, because until you began to sleep five and six hours at a time, I was a frizzy haired zombie. But you started to catch up and fill out into this amazing little boy, who stole my heart on day one, and proceeded to fill it to the brim every day after. You had this way of looking, that melted my heart into a puddle of happiness…


and there it is!

Oh but I love you Douglas, my Dooglemeister, my Dougalug, my Little Man, my light.

Happy Birthday, Love Mom

The Path Ahead


head down

standing back in a quiet rage

watching your world go up in a silent blaze

you scream inside

only hear your own voice

raving deep down you have no choice

the heat searing

sweat dripping down your spine

your fear becoming cancer…

growing yet benign

running like the wind

concentrating on the path ahead

heart racing as your feet outweigh lead

looking down once again

your footprints trailing once more

then you realize…

you’ve been there before



March 6, 2015

These spring flowers have been blooming now for over 2 weeks. They are planted

in North West Washington! A rainforest. Where spring comes in April!

Not February!

I just felt the dire need to document the decline of our atmosphere. Our spring

has been moved up an entire month. Now think about the drought that will follow

this summer. Our summer will probably continue into fall like it did last year,

reaching into September. With the crazy weather back east mounting to disaster

levels no matter the storm, if you had any doubts about global warming,

you had better wake up and take a look around you. We have altered our planet,

beyond what is the norm of cycles for massive weather scale size changes.

You can only leave your head buried in the sand for so long, before you need to breathe.

Think about it, I beg you… there are many different ways you alone can make a difference.

And if we each believe by changing our habits in just one way,

we are all joining together to make change in a great way, then

we will change!!

bruises in blossom


faded blue

bowing down

heart spread wide

with nothing to fear

but the loss of sapphire

bruises in blossom

witnesses to a rare burst

throwing off adoration

not able to avoid hanging

its head in shame

for it knows no beauty

other than its own




(I know it’s bright, but do you see the two Great Blue Heron’s fishing?)



Clouds on a winter day, a million shades of gray

But the sky is a blue gem, God’s choice on a whim

Water a cold deep blue, hiding nothing from a birds eye view

Ripples behind the breaking rocks, against the trees it knocks

Newborn twigs fighting for light, fish stay clean out of sight

A typical day on a river, glorious life in a sliver